I have been going to therapy since I was about 7 years old. I am well versed in psychological terminology, self-care tool kits, and from all of these years of therapy sessions, I am super good at talking through my feelings. Let me just say this: I’m not in the least bit ashamed to talk openly about my mental health. This isn’t because I’m a stone cold warrior princess who isn’t afraid of being vulnerable with other people. It’s not because I am immune to the sting of incorrect assumptions when someone learns of my condition. I choose to be candid about my mental health because it’s simply a part of who I am, but at this point, I’m wise enough to know that my condition does not define me as a person. What I don’t believe in is hiding aspects of myself in order to make others feel comfortable.
To be perfectly honest here, what helped propel me to speak up about my mental health was remaining silent to the people around me. It’s a bit of a paradox, I know, but after years of repression and self-loathing, it simply wasn’t worth it to me anymore. Countless hours were spent rolling around the possibilities in my head. What would people say? Who would remain in my life if I were to open up? Who would leave? In the end it didn’t matter to me because I knew that the people who truly loved me would stay. Those who didn’t…honestly, it’s probably better off that we parted ways. About a year ago, I reached a breaking point and came out of hiding. I felt so exhausted with my attempts at trying to hide my condition it was liberating for me to give up caring so much. It was through my internal struggles which allowed me to acquire deep respect for myself. Basically, I came to a point where I loved myself enough to be seen. Over time, I became independent of external validation. It didn’t matter whether it was positive or negative because it all went down the same pipe. I was free.
Today, the stigma against mental illness is still very real. I know so many individuals who suffer from undiagnosedanxiety, depression, mood disorders, and phobias yet nobody wants to talk about it. And god forbid if you’re humbled enough to go and seek help. It’s as if saying it out loud would elude to the fact that they’re inherently bad or defective. Throughout the course of our history, the stigma against mental health has derived from the negative attitudes towards people who experience the human condition differently from the vast majority. These attitudes have been reinforced over time by the media, stereotyping, and other forms of bias. These types of bias’s have evolved into misinformed perceptions and have continued to influence us on the ways in which we view people who suffer from mental illnesses. And as far as we’ve come in terms of communicating about mental health, I believe that we still have much further to go. As a society, it is common knowledge for most people to believe that individuals who suffer from a mental illness are inherently defective, bad, or lazy. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I think that it’s easy for people to attach fear based beliefs to subjects that are difficult for them to comprehend.
I understand the complexities that surface when it comes to sharing your life story with those around you. I am no stranger to the feeling of vulnerability, personal trauma history, or the way our inner critics can keep us from speaking up. Sometimes, owning our history can be horrific if we’re not ready to open up to it. This is an indicator that more healing work must be done. Progress is not made in a day, but in small incremental moments over time. Keep going and always be reminded of your strength and courage. For those of you who feel it would be cathartic to share your story with the world, don’t hesitate. It is by spreading our truth that we inspire others to do the same.