All my life, I have been pretty up and down, when it comes to the people I put first in my life. In psychology, it's proven that children are more selfish, and I was no exception. When I hit middle school, my priorities made a drastic switch. I switched to caring only for my friends.

When I was that age, I spent absolutely no time concerning myself with my own well being, and that ended up being a negative thing. Putting everyone before yourself only makes being yourself and being positive about who you are more difficult. I lost myself in being someone else's friend. Finally, as I entered high school, I decided it was time for another change.

I decided it was time for me to be selfish. It was time for me to be worried about me and my well being. I still worried about my friends, especially in my earlier years of high school, because I had friends that needed me.

But when I reached my junior year, I finally made myself my top priority. I was sick of always feeling like I was nobody's first priority, even myself. I started saying no to things that I didn't want to do, or things I didn't feel would benefit me and help me move forward. I stopped blowing off my school work for other people because I knew that I needed to try harder to get into college and go to school for counseling.

My senior year of high school, I realized that I needed to look out for myself and be selfish. So I did what I needed to do to graduate.

When I started college in the fall of 2016, my time with anybody other than my family and my fiance became less and less, and I spent most of my time doing homework or working. My second semester of college, I was even more so focused on my education, future, and career, and I remain this way, and plan to remain this way for the rest of my life.

Now, I didn't become my own biggest fan without upsetting people. I have been called selfish more times than I can count in the last two or three years of my life. So many people didn't like when I began putting myself first, because they liked to be first. But I have never once apologized for it.

I am not sorry for being selfish and only caring about myself, my family, and my future. I'm not saying I will intentionally hurt others to get to where I want to be in life, because despite being concerned mostly for myself, my well being, and my future, I still care about the people in my life and want them happy. But if a decision I make with my life upsets somebody else, I don't really care, because the decisions I make are decisions I make for me, and the future I want to build.

I will never apologize for having my own best interests in mind. I will never apologize for removing negativity from my life and focusing on myself, my positive relationships, and my future. I will never apologize for worrying about myself because I'm not sorry about it. I am not sorry for always having my own back and standing my ground, and I shouldn't be.

So many people became so concerned with how they feel about your life they don't stop to wonder how you feel about your own life. I am happy with my life how it is right now, and I feel that way because I am selfish with my time and effort. The people who receive my time and effort are the people I want to receive my time and effort. I put all of my time and energy into building a life for myself and my fiance, and the life we are building together. I am selfish. And that's perfectly fine with me.