"Counseling? Are you crazy?" - those were my thoughts when my mother first suggested that I go talk to someone. I don't remember how old I was exactly, but I remember how scared I was of what my friends would think of me if they found out I was going to COUNSELING. Paying someone to listen to my problems? No, thank you. I thought that was just for people who had been through really bad stuff. Yea, I had my share of traumatic things. But they were things that teenage me thought I could handle on my own. Pain that I thought would go away if I just didn't think about it. Thoughts that I believed would just disappear if I buried them deep inside me. I was wrong. I was 20 years old and had just been diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I finally decided enough was enough. I decided that I was going to pack away my pride and let someone help me. I'm writing this, not to babble on about my life story, but to (hopefully) reach out to others struggling. To show people that counseling is not for "crazy" people.
For years, I struggled with cripplingly low self-esteem. Yea, it sucked. Everyday I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. So when I decided to go to counseling, that was our main focus. While talking about that, we uncovered lots of possible reasons and possible solutions for my low self-esteem. Again, something that teenage me thought wasn't a big deal and I could do it on own. Never in a million years did I think I would need help learning how to love myself, but I thank God that I finally did.
Though those sessions and talks, I learned my worth. I got up everyday and I looked in the mirror and I would tell myself "I am beautiful". I know, how cliche. But I did. At first, it felt weird. I didn't truly believe it, but said it because it was "part of my assignment". But morning after morning, I said it.One day I woke up and said it, and I realized that I meant it. I smiled and said it again and again and again and every time, I felt it in my soul that I was beautiful. Over the last several months, I have learned that my worth is not measured on a scale. It is not measured by the amount of people I surround myself with or the number of boys who think I'm cute. But my worth is based in who I am. I am hard working, I am strong, I am motivated. Counseling helped me see my worth and see that I can't handle certain things on my own. I am not ashamed to talk about it. because I see now that counseling is not just for "crazy" people. It is for people who are strong enough to get help. I am not crazy, and no one who attends therapy is. If you are struggling, do not let your pride get in the way. Don't think you can do it alone. There is no shame in getting help. Once you learn that, the only direction you can go, is up.
