“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.”
― Shannon L. Alder
I am a very nostalgic person. I am constantly trying to capture moments, carrying my camera or GoPro with me wherever I go. Each year I make a video highlighting the favorite moments I captured. I print my favorite pictures and tape them to my wall. I love reading old letters and I write important events in my journal at least once a month.
Being such a nostalgic person proves difficult when it comes time to leave home, and I did not feel ready. But regardless, there I went.
Coming home from college is a weird thing. For some, it is hard to be controlled by parents again. For others it is boring, and for yet others coming home is something so exciting, something they can't wait for. Everyone has different feelings upon returning to a place filled with so many memories.
Thanksgiving break was my first experience with returning to my hometown from college. I was unbelievably excited. My first semester had been grueling to say the least. I was an athlete and a science major, making for an intense and rigorous schedule. I could not wait to see my old friends, get lunch at my favorite places, and drive my favorite windy roads while blasting John Mayer songs.
My first trip home was all that I had expected it to be: I saw my friends, ate at those restaurants, and drove to my heart's content. But coming back the next time was different.
I still had that sense of nostalgia upon my return. I was home for five weeks, and although it was nice to take a break from all of my engagements in college, I realized how different everything was. As much as I had wanted to keep "home" in this unchanging box, as much as I wanted it to be this place I could come in and out of as I pleased, it simply cannot be that constant. I can't just freeze my high school memories in an unchanging frame of time and expect them to be there for me when I need them.
This reality seems harsh. I, along with most of my friends, have been fortunate enough to grow up in the same beautiful place for the majority of my life. Of course, I want to have this town as my escape, safe haven, or happy place. But I realize now that I no longer need it to be any of those things for me.
The stresses of college and the abundance of new places and opportunities have shaped me into a different person. I cannot say if this person is better, cooler, or nicer, but I can say she is different. Although I can appreciate the comfort of home for a while, I am now ready to truly leave.
Some of your close friends are now only pictures on walls or faces in videos, but that does not negate what they were. Closing the book does not mean destroying it. When you need to, you can pick it up and flip through its pages, smiling at the good memories and humbling yourself with the bad.
