In today's political world, it's easy for the average American citizen to become disillusioned with their government. It has stopped being about giving a voice to the people and has just become rich people shouting at each other on television every four years or so. It's times like these I like to think back on the story of my favorite historical figure, a man who saw the problems in our country and decided to do something about them. That man was Joshua Abraham Norton, and he decided to do what any rational person would: proclaim himself Emperor of the United States.
Norton was born nobody knows when, in the town of nobody knows where. I'm being serious. Our best guess is he was born around 1818 probably close to London, but nobody knows for sure where this wonderful human being came from. What we do know is that Norton arrived in San Francisco in 1849 and began work in real estate. By the early 1850s Norton had acquired a fortune of about $250,000, about $5 million today, which he promptly blew on a ship full of Peruvian rice.
In 1859, after becoming fed up with inadequacies in the political and justice systems, he named himself Emperor of the United States and protector of Mexico. Why? Because he wanted to. He let his new subjects know of the regime shift by distributing letters to a number of newspapers. The editors of these papers published the letters, because why wouldn't you? They're hilarious. And I know what you're thinking, he can say he's emperor if he wants, but no one is going to take him seriously. Well that's where you'd be wrong. The people of San Francisco loved him. He ate at whatever restaurant he wanted, and the best seats in the theaters were reserved for him.
During his reign as emperor, Norton made a number of decrees. One of his very first decrees was to abolish the United States' Congress, stating:
"...fraud and corruption prevent a fair and proper expression of the public voice; that open violation of the laws are constantly occurring, caused by mobs, parties, factions and undue influence of political sects; that the citizen has not that protection of person and property which he is entitled."
Along with Congress, Norton also abolished both the Democratic, and Republican Parties.
However, Norton was not just a lunatic. He had a number of ideas and decrees that were well ahead of their time. He issued a decree instructing the countries of the world to form a League of Nations, as well as forbidding conflict between any religions or sects of religions. He also called for the construction of a bridge connecting San Francisco to Oakland, and that a tunnel be built under the San Francisco Bay, both of which now exist, and it is a shame that neither are named after him.
Norton loved his adopted home, and the city loved him. Norton was arrested once for lunacy, but only once. After his arrest, the police were flooded with complaints made by citizens, and were harshly criticized by the newspapers. Norton was released with an apology from the police chief, and all officers were instructed to salute Norton when they passed him on the street. In return for the cities love and kindness, Norton made it illegal to refer to the city as "Frisco," levying a $25 fine against anyone who did so.
On Jan. 8, 1880, Norton was on his way to lecture at the California Academy of Sciences, when he collapsed on the street. A carriage was immediately sent for, but he was dead before it could arrive. His funeral was attended by approximately 10,000 people, rich and poor; men, women, and children. A Cincinnati newspaper, when reporting his death, called Norton "An emperor without enemies, a king without a kingdom, supported in life by the willing tribute of free people."
The world has not had another leader like him, but looking at our current political landscape, I think the country could do with another Emperor Norton right about now.