I guarantee that you’ve been under some level of stress recently, and someone has reminded you to take a step back and “take a deep breath.” You feel in over your head, and whether you choose to share this feeling with someone, or they see that look of unsettling tension on your face, they to tell you to “relax.”
Breathing techniques, relaxing hobbies, yoga and meditation are all fine and dandy for those with a normal level of stress. These things just work for them. Somehow, sitting in a quiet room trying to clear their mind and hear the air filling their lungs is something that actually calms them down. They can leave the room feeling at peace, refreshed, and ready for the next challenge ahead of them.
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This is not the case for me. There are others, the maximum overdrive, and extreme stressors. The thought of sitting quietly with my mind to myself when I am feeling stressed out actually makes my skin crawl. I can’t clear my head, even if I tried. Besides, I need all that stuff in my head to get things done. Seriously—I have a ton of things that need to get done, so don’t offer me your Groupon for a yoga class, thinking you will save me the years I have lost off my life from extreme anxiety.
You may think you are doomed to a life of running errands in a constant state unhappiness, feeling that the only thing that can save you from this joyless misery is heavy medication. Maybe that’s the case—go talk to your doctor. But first, I think I have found a meditation video that actually works:
Relax, and f*ck that. This video has all of the qualities of a meditation talk but with a little extra kick to it. That kick that you need because imagining your worries floating away like leaves on the wind isn’t cutting it for you. The more likely mental picture would be blow torching those problems, or dropping them with a one-ton weight off the side of the Empire State Building.
This is the single meditation video that I will ever recommend, because realistically, I will not take a deep breath and imagine each of my problems as a candle flame that I can blow out. What I will do is curse like a sailor at the top of my lungs because I’m dramatic, my life feels like a sh*it show, and the universe hates me. I have finally found a meditation routine that matches that level of passion.
I’ve made improvements since adopting this meditation routine, and the results are actually very promising. Now, instead of screaming obscenities into oblivion, I will quietly whisper, in the meditation leader’s voice, “f*ck that sh*t,” and can carry on with my day.
In conclusion, you really just have to find the stress release that works for you, and that may require some research into some off-the-wall options.
