If you have ever taken a second to think about life and the world as we know it, you probably have asked yourself the question, "What is real?" This question has been asked way before Pluto's time and will probably be asked again in the foreseeable future somehow in someway. However, this article has nothing to do with that philosophical question. Instead, I will be discussing things I hold to be not real. Some of you may get upset at some of these; to you, I say fret not. This list is a joke... for the most part. Without further ado, here are 11 things that don't exist.

1. Canada

Ah yes, Canada. The hockey-loving, Tim Horton-drinking home of many. What you may not know is that Canada, with it's National health care system and multiple pine trees, doesn't actually exist anymore. It used to, but in July of 1969, the whole entire place just kind of exploded. To cover this up, the United States of America faked the moon landing, bringing the world's attention to outside of the sphere instead of in it. Neat, huh?

2. Birds

If you don't know this already, I'm disappointed. Here's my article on why birds aren't real. www.theodysseyonline.com/bird-facts

3. Alaska

Alaska isn't real. No one has been there ever. That's all.

4. Montana

If you ever "been" to Montana, you understand that it kind of looks like Idaho, Wyoming, "Canada," and the other border states. Perhaps that's because Montana is actually those states and not a state itself?

5. Mountains

As Welcome to Night Vale as excellently put, "Mountains? More like Nothings!" and "It is flat all the way 'around'."

6. Dog Parks

Believe in their non-existence is better for all of us, trust me.

7. Wendy's

Never been to one so I'm pretty sure they've never existed.

9. Anime

100% doesn't exist. Why, you ask? "Don't ask questions you don't want answers to." I laugh, lounging in a soft leather chair.

10. Sports

Sports is really just a bunch of people with angst doing stuff they think is sports. It's not.

11. All K-Marts

I don't even know what K-Marts do anymore. They should've stopped existing decades ago.