So you've taken the 5-10 year route through school. Okay, that's cool. Everyone has their own journey and quite frankly it's not anybody's business (unless they are helping you fund your education...then they may have a right to say something). But the people who are helping get you through school aren't who I am talking about. No, no I'm referring to the nosy no good random family or friend that you maybe see once or twice a year at most. If you're a nontraditional university student you hear the smart remarks all of the time be it your age or the amount of time it takes to get through school. If you are not, but you know someone who is, I'm going to provide you with a list of ten things you should NEVER say to them...even if you're "joking".
1. You're taking your time getting your degree, aren't you?
Yes, yes I am. And I'm not one bit sorry either. We all have our own journeys. Some college journeys fit the four-year norm that starts at the age of 18 and some don't and that is perfectly okay. What matters is that I'm actually trying to achieve one of my goals and doing something that could help me in the future.
2. Can you not decide on a degree?
Maybe in the beginning. But again, there are other things that have played into why it has taken so long to graduate.
3. It's been ______ years since you graduated high school. (Insert random name here) graduated _____ years after and is graduating this year.
I am genuinely happy for that person. I started college late and only took one or two classes a semester until Fall of 2015. I graduated with my associate's degree and am pursuing my B.A. We are literally going after the same level of education. Does it really matter who gets there first?
4. Did something keep you from going to school?
Well, something must have. Or maybe I just knew that I wasn't ready for college financially or mentally. College is expensive. It is too expensive to go in unprepared and in the wrong mindset. I wasn't willing to pay or ask my parents to help me pay, to fail. I wanted to be ready and I think that I have done pretty well thank you very much.
5. Are you afraid of getting out on your own?
No, I'm not. In fact, I could work full time and go to school full time and live on my own now if I want. But financially it's not a good idea, nor is it a good idea for me to risk my grades for that. I am saving money and spending my time more wisely by working part time and going to school full time by living at home. There's also the possibility that I may have a child (I personally don't, but some non-traditional college students do) and their needs have been put before my own (as they should be) and I'm just able to get my degree. Either way, we are putting our noses to the grindstone here. Can you take your nosey nose out of our business, please?
6. Well, you need to hurry and get that degree. You can't live off of your parents' insurance and money forever.
Believe me, I know. I'm incredibly blessed that my family has supported me through everything. There are a lot of people who would have given up on me. Luckily I only have one more year of college after this semester and can start earning my keep and get my insurance. I am well aware of the timeline. But there is always Medicaid should I need it or maybe I already have it. (Again, you don't know everybody's situation. Nor do you need to).
7. Well, aren't you embarrassed to be the oldest student in the class?
First of all, I'm not personally. But second of all, who the heck cares? We are all in that classroom for the same reasons. We earned it and we are reaching for the same goal...a degree. We worked just as hard, if not harder, for our places here in this school. We deserve to be proud of ourselves without you butting in Negative Nancy. Take your ageist self somewhere else.
8. Most people go to college and find their life mate. Aren't you worried you won't find someone age appropriate?
Are you kidding me right now? You think I'm here for my M.R.S. degree?? I'm sorry, you've got me, confused sweetheart, I'm here for a B.A. degree. Some people call it a Bachelors of the Arts degree. I call it a Bad A** degree. Because you've gotta be pretty hardcore to get through some of these lectures and then talk to people like you.
9. So did you have to retake classes that you failed?
Nope...well maybe one but that was math and we don't talk about that. Otherwise I've had all A's and B's for the most part my dear. Life just gets in the way sometimes.
10. Aren't you embarrassed that it's taking you this long?
Aren't you embarrassed to ask such stupid questions? I'm only embarrassed when people talk down to me about school. I'm proud of the work that I do. I've worked hard for this degree and so have all of the other traditional and nontraditional students here. So I won't be letting you take that away from me, or from them.
The long and the short of it is, that all college students have earned their place in their school. Don't belittle that achievement.