Everyone has been talking about self love and how important it is to your well being and to affirm any insecurities etc., but it seems like we never take the time to discuss the difference between positive and healthy self love versus toxic self love.

2016, undoubtedly was a divisive year in quite a few aspects, and with the constant “us versus them” attitude, it is hard to focus on self-love in more positive ways. More specifically, between races, it seems that there is an even more blurred line between uplifting one race and competing against another.

Here are some common examples of hate and bashing disguised as "self love" concerning race:

1. I'd hate to be anything but a (insert race here) girl!

2. Us (insert race here) girls win over everyone.

3. Honestly I'm so glad I'm (insert race here) because our (some common feature/trait) is just so much better than (insert race here).

These are just 3 example of statements that I myself catch myself saying sometimes. Especially as a woman of color, its hard not to feel like a lot of things are a competition. However, even though it is hard, we have to be cognizant of things that we say. I prefer things like "Black Girls Rock" or "Black Girl Magic" because it has the same "neutrality" as "Black Lives Matter". It's not saying that no one else is magic or that no one else of any other race is capable of being cool, but that we know we are.

As we go into 2017 I would challenge many of us to step out of our accusatory and "othering" mindset and praise ourselves and characteristics all without putting any others down.

#StayWoke