When we first get to college we're shiny and new, we're unhindered by everything that is yet to come. It is a rude awakening to see that the Facebook/Instagram/Twitter posts about college changing you are true. These are things that you thought you could resist and maybe even did for a little while. These are the multiple stages to being a college student:
Stage 1: Initial Contact
This is the very beginning of your transition from functioning human to college student. At first it may just be a change in wardrobe because we all know that athletic shorts and tennis shoes are way more comfortable when dragging your ass across campus. You may also find yourself drinking slightly more caffeine to keep up with the constant progression of your day. You're also eating slightly less of the veggies that your mom used to make you eat. You still force yourself to eat some breakfast because everyone keeps telling you that it's the most important meal and all. You stayed up until 2:30 a.m. once this week to get that project finished and swore to yourself that you wouldn't procrastinate that much anymore.
Stage 2: Half-Breed (Part human and part college student)
This is the stage of acceptance. At this point you are no longer naïve to the fact that you won't be getting eight hours of sleep... ever. You have invested in a mini fridge with the sole intention of filling it with hot pockets, frozen burritos and chocolate milk. Breakfast isn't in the equation anymore because trying to recover whatever sleep you can is a million times more important. You're a master of getting ready in 15 minutes. But you question your humanity when you realize you haven't showered in longer than you care to admit. Then, you proceed to go to your classes half awake and post up in the farthest corner of the room. Unfortunately, you are reminded that you have a social life to maintain as you hear your name being called by a friend across the room.
Stage 3: Transformation Complete
When you get to stage three you've hit the danger zone. You have officially become a college student due to the fact that you are perpetually tired. Whether or not you're the person who gets up early to workout or the person who sleeps in until noon and before starting your day, you're always tired. You've fallen asleep in most of your classes and the ones you didn't fall asleep in you skipped in order to sleep. So the thought of getting an IV to pump black coffee into your veins seems like the most sensible solution to your problems. You've officially shriveled up into a smaller, frailer version of your former self. So you pray to your lucky stars that someone's parents will come into town and take you out to dinner because newsflash you're a broke, hungry college kid. HELP.
Stage 4: Young Forever
But wait there is a plus side to being in college. The final stage of being a college student is also the best part. This is the part where you stay up until 3:00 a.m. watching movies with your roommate or go out on the town and wreak havoc. This is the part where you eat fried goodness at that landmark restaurant or go on day trips that turn into adventures with your crazy friends. The part where you take a million pictures to post on social media to prove you aren't as zombiefied as you appear. This is the part where you do the crazy things that make the memories and the regrettable things that teach the lessons. This is the part of college that everyone talks about.
So in the words of Asher Roth, "I love college, do I really have to graduate or can I just stay here for the rest of my life?"
