dating culture | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

Let's Get Back To A 'No Scrubs' Mindset

In a dating culture so poor, let's get back our worth.

121
Let's Get Back To A 'No Scrubs' Mindset

Dating culture has come a long way in the last fifty years, and I don't mean that in a good way. We have gone from men walking up to the doors and meeting our parents at the start of a date to guys honking the horn our front and expecting us to come outside.

We have come from long relationships that have milestones and are special, to one-night stands and not even remembering your partner's name the next day.

We have gone from guys bringing flowers just because to guys bringing flowers just because they messed up.

We've gone from the man leading and the woman following, playing her part as care-taker to women being strictly independent, not needing any man to tell her what to do.

This needs to change.

Now, before people get offended and start yelling at me about "feminism" and women's rights and how they can take care of themselves, that's not what I mean. Of course women can be independent and more power to you for being so secure in yourself, ladies. Here's all I'm saying: just because a man buys you flowers, or wants to lead in the relationship, that does not mean he is looking down on you. That's just what a man is supposed to do!

Now, I'm going to be honest that I'm a bit confused. Women don't want men to look down at them and are so much in this 'I don't need no man' mindset, yet I see so many women settling! They're having meaningless one-night stands, staying in abusive relationships, staying with a guy who just treats you horribly (though, not abusively). So if you're viewing yourself more highly, how can you look at the relationship you're in and not see how that's dragging you down?

You don't want men to look down at you, but, honey, I kinda am (no judgment). When I see someone in a bad relationship where I can clearly see an out, my heart breaks for them, yearning for them to break free.

As the beautiful and powerful women that we are, we need to step back into a "No Scrubs" mindset, instead of wherever we are now. We need to let TLC talk to us and really take their advice.

"No, I don't want your number /
No, I don't wanna give you mine /
No, I don't want no scrub /
A scrub is a guy who can't get no love from me /
Hangin' out the passenger side /
Of his best friend's ride /
Tryna holla at me"

This is great advice of the treatment that we should NOT take. If a weird guy just comes and asks for your number, don't give it to him! Don't take his number! If a guy is catcallin' you, or wolf whistles at you out of the car window, pay no attention, sister! You are better than that.

They continue on to tell us:

"If you don't have a car and you're walking /
Oh yes son, I'm talking to you /
If you live at home with your momma /
Oh yes son, I'm talking to you /
If you have a shorty that you don't show love /
Oh yes son, I'm talking to you."

Again, good advice! A few kinds of guys you should avoid: guys without cars who are slumping off of other people, guys who still live with their parents, guys who are IN A RELATIONSHIP that don't respect their partner by flirting with you!!!

Avoid them.

You deserve better, sis.

Please don't just give out because some guy hits on you and you're bored. Know that you are worth so much more than that. You deserve a guy who is going to cherish you, pursue you, be loyal to you, respect you and take care of you. A man who will lead you. Don't settle for just a scrub.

Wait for a real man.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

28 Daily Thoughts of College Students

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

435
group of people sitting on bench near trees duting daytime

I know every college student has daily thoughts throughout their day. Whether you're walking on campus or attending class, we always have thoughts running a mile a minute through our heads. We may be wondering why we even showed up to class because we'd rather be sleeping, or when the professor announces that we have a test and you have an immediate panic attack.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Great Christmas Movie Debate

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

1792
The Great Christmas Movie Debate
Mental Floss

One staple of the Christmas season is sitting around the television watching a Christmas movie with family and friends. But of the seemingly hundreds of movies, which one is the star on the tree? Some share stories of Santa to children ("Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"), others want to spread the Christmas joy to adults ("It's a Wonderful Life"), and a select few are made to get laughs ("Elf"). All good movies, but merely ornaments on the Christmas tree of the best movies. What tops the tree is a movie that bridges the gap between these three movies, and makes it a great watch for anyone who chooses to watch it. Enter the timeless Christmas classic, "A Christmas Story." Created in 1983, this movie holds the tradition of capturing both young and old eyes for 24 straight hours on its Christmas Day marathon. It gets the most coverage out of all holiday movies, but the sheer amount of times it's on television does not make it the greatest. Why is it,
then? A Christmas Story does not try to tell the tale of a Christmas miracle or use Christmas magic to move the story. What it does do though is tell the real story of Christmas. It is relatable and brings out the unmatched excitement of children on Christmas in everyone who watches. Every one becomes a child again when they watch "A Christmas Story."

Keep Reading...Show less
student thinking about finals in library
StableDiffusion

As this semester wraps up, students can’t help but be stressed about finals. After all, our GPAs depends on these grades! What student isn’t worrying about their finals right now? It’s “goodbye social life, hello library” time from now until the end of finals week.

1. Finals are weeks away, I’m sure I’ll be ready for them when they come.

Keep Reading...Show less
Christmas tree
Librarian Lavender

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Christmas is one of my personal favorite holidays because of the Christmas traditions my family upholds generation after generation. After talking to a few of my friends at college, I realized that a lot of them don't really have "Christmas traditions" in their family, and I want to help change that. Here's a list of Christmas traditions that my family does, and anyone can incorporate into their family as well!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Phases Of Finals

May the odds be ever in your favor.

2477
Does anybody know how to study
Gurl.com

It’s here; that time of year when college students turn into preschoolers again. We cry for our mothers, eat everything in sight, and whine when we don’t get our way. It’s finals, the dreaded time of the semester when we all realize we should have been paying attention in class instead of literally doing anything else but that. Everyone has to take them, and yes, unfortunately, they are inevitable. But just because they are here and inevitable does not mean they’re peaches and cream and full of rainbows. Surviving them is a must, and the following five phases are a reality for all majors from business to art, nursing to history.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments