Trust, by definition, is believing in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of a person: “I trust you.” "I believe in you." “I trusted you.” Such a small word, with such immense meaning around it. Trust is one of the most fragile foundations of a relationship; It's the biggest reason you confide in certain people, or feel close to others. Because you trust them, they become a significant person in your life. Because people eventually play such huge roles in your life, when something goes wrong, your trust in them shatters. You convince yourself that you can fix your relationship even without trusting them – but you can’t.
When you lose trust, you lose the ability to believe anything the person ever says or does. You begin to second guess all their actions and words, wondering if they have an ulterior motive or if they’re merely acting in a way that will appeal to you. When you lose trust, your anxieties begin to boil over. “What if they actually hate me? What if they had planned to hurt me all along? Did they ever mean what they said? Will they do it again?” And to answer the last, the person may or may not hurt you again, but in the back of your mind, you feel as if they will do it again, over and over, no matter what. When that trust is gone, you scoff at them, laugh at them, acting as if you know what they’re really thinking, or what they’re really doing but hiding from you, and the relationship continues to hit the rocks in the rapids until it eventually sinks with the lost ships and the city of Atlantis.
The biggest question is if whether or not you can repair what you two had, or if you should throw your relationships to the sharks for feeding time. You argue with yourself, weighing your pros and cons, and sometimes the cons outweigh the pros, but you still convince yourself it’s worth it to put your faith in them and try again. Sometimes a relationship is too far gone to even try to repair the trust you had for the person - say for instance they lied to you about something serious, or cheated on you. Taking them back would always leave you wondering and guessing if they’re still lying or if they’ve cheated again. You spend your whole day wanting to ask questions: “What did you do? Who were you with? Who did you talk to?” But you can’t ask those questions without creating a bigger right. So, instead, you drive yourself crazy until you burst and the relationship ends up even further than rock bottom, towards the bottom of the sea floor.
What a lot of us need to realize is that trust can be regained, but it is a choice we must be willing to make. We must be willing to give ourselves to them, allow ourselves to be vulnerable to their actions and words, and put ourselves in their hands once more in order to trust them once more. Occasionally we make the wrong decision and choose to trust the person again, allowing them to hurt us one more time, but we live and we learn - don’t blame yourself for wanting to believe in them again. If you decide you can’t trust them anymore, then it’s best to pack your bags and tell them to head to the left.
These decisions are never easy, but think of these decisions as long term decisions - put yourself first and make the best choice you can for yourself. It’ll all be okay in the end.
