The issue with having any sort of relationship with a “damaged” person is they aren’t always quite as damaged as they make themselves out to be. They want you to think they are, but they aren’t.
In fact, those kinds of people are very aware of their baggage, claiming it to be emotional damage from past experiences, forcing you to be the one who makes their entire lives better because they’ve chosen you as that person.
The thing about dating a person like this is you never see it coming until it’s too late. You don’t see it coming until you’re stuck feeling like every time they have a meltdown, you’re to blame. You feel like you can’t do one thing after another because it might hurt their feelings even though you aren’t doing anything wrong.
When a person chooses to use their past experiences to force someone to act a certain way, they end up being manipulative. Regardless of whether or not they see what they are doing, the demands they are making of you can be hurting you because they are controlling. They make you feel like you’re the root of their happiness and if you make one wrong move, you’re screwed.
This kind of relationship is emotionally draining and can take a toll on every aspect of your life. Relationships like these can start at any age, even in tween years. 62 percent of young people in relationships claim to know someone who has been verbally abused in their relationship and 41 percent of those same tweens say they know someone who has been verbally abused by the use of technology.
Each person will always believe that they would be able to tell the warning signs of an abusive, manipulative, or toxic relationship, but that’s not always the case. When you care for someone it’s difficult to see their faults, but if someone is treating you poorly, you should know the signs and end the relationship immediately.
Warning Signs
The major warning signs of a toxic relationship aren’t always obvious. Some are very clear: the abuser yells frequently, blames every discrepancy on you, refuses to work on themselves, and always feels like they are in the right.
Others are not so clear. If you find yourself apologizing all the time for things you know you shouldn’t have to feel guilty about, it might be the wrong relationship for you. If you’re willing to work on it and you’re the only one committed, you may be being manipulated into staying. If you’re feeling like you are tip-toeing around your own life to spare their feelings, it’s time to leave.
The worst part about these kinds of relationships is the difficulty of separating the good from the bad. Your manipulative partner might apologize after a big fight filled with insults and low blows, but what is an apology without change?
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