252 days...

It has been 252 days since I've seen you last,

256 days since I spoke to you last.

But how come 252 days can feel like a lifetime, when the 6,572 days we had, didn't seem like enough?

No one prepared me for what it is like to miss someone so bad; to feel so helpless when there is nothing I can do.

I never knew what heartbreak was until the day I lost you.

I wish there were words to do you justice, God knows that's far from possible, but here is a glimpse of you...

Your hands were soft and gentle.

You held carefully, but grasped tightly.

They were out to give love, to anyone who crossed your path.

They prayed.

They gave.

They thanked.

Your hands,

They were always there for me.

Your eyes were wide and excited.

Your head was strong and wise.

But most of all, your heart was full of selfless love.

Love you gave to me; love you gave to my family. A pure kind of love that you would never find in anyone else. It was indescribable, the feeling of being loved by you. It wasn't always through your words, but instead the phone calls, the cards, the crackers, and more.

If we're being honest though, I lost you long before that day.

The calls were shorter, the notes were scrap paper, and the words were fainter.

You steered clear of the outside and didn't want anyone's help.

You were independent, you were stubborn, and nothing could have changed that.

But you let nothing phase you, you didn't show us your pain; you walked tall--even if it was in your t-shirt and underwear--you walked tall.

Nothing could take your smile, your humor and wit.

Nothing could end this love, the one you were so willing to give.

I pray there comes a day that I can be half the woman as you, because God knows there is no one coming back to this world like you.

I will never forget the night you left us.

We all surrounded your hospital bed, held hands tightly and said, "she would kill us all if she knew we were crying over her, here right now"...

So, we said our final goodbyes, shed what wouldn't be our last tears, said a short prayer, and God took you from there.

August 10th, 2016.

252 days.