That sentence alone may have your blood boiling.
Allow me to clarify. I understand that in America’s past, we as women did not have the right to work, vote or join the military. I am extremely grateful for the women who precede me for suffering oppression in order to make it so that I am allowed to join the military, vote, or go to work, if I so choose.
Most feminists will stop me right there and say that because I am glad I have the right to these things that that makes me a feminist. But no. Perhaps in 1910. But now? I am decidedly not a feminist. To expand on this, I will point to the Bible. I know that some readers will not accept the Bible as a legitimate source but, nevertheless, it is my main reason for not classifying myself as a feminist. In the beginning of Genesis 2 God created Adam. Man. He breathed life into dirt and this created the first human. A human who had physical abilities, intellect and emotions. After this creation, God created Eve — a woman — from Adam. This woman was meant to mother Adam’s children. This woman also possesses intellect, physical abilities and emotions, just like her male counterpart does. But God did not create them to be the same, He gave them both very different natural abilities.
There should be no confusion on how families and marriages are meant to be structured. God lays it all out for us in many different places. Ephesians 5 says this:
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church — 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” — Ephesians 5:22-33
God could not be more clear about how He has created family structures to be. Women must submit to their husbands because he is the head of the house and husbands must love their wives, as God loves the church. The Bible clearly states that women not only can submit to their husbands but that they should. He states that by doing this you are honoring the Lord.
Proverbs 31 illustrates the role of a woman perfectly. I spend every day of my own life striving to be like the “Proverbs 31 woman.”
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” -Proverbs 31:10-31
God tells us exactly how He wants women to live their lives, so that we never have a doubt in our mind whether or not we are honoring Him. Men and women were not created to be equal. We were created biologically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally different. We are all here to serve a different purpose and were all blessed with different spiritual gifts. We are all here to expand the Kingdom using the abilities that we were given. God doesn't say that women can't be opinionated, strong-willed, intelligent or hard-working, but he does tell us how we should be using our gifts, and our gender for the expansion of His kingdom.
Beyond my religious beliefs, I have so many problems with second- and third-wave feminism. Of course, I see the need for feminism in third world countries where there is serious oppression going on, but there is no longer a need for feminism in America. We are so blessed to be treated as equals to our male counterparts in this country. We have the ability to vote, to drive, to work, to stay home, to do whatever we please so long as we aren't breaking the law. So why are there so many women in this country that claim we are oppressed? The current movement of third-wave feminism is one that stems from hatred and it's a group of extremists. Acts like "SlutWalk" and "free bleeding" are not acts of freedom, their acts of self-righteousness and they aren't good ways to honor your body. And the "I drink male tears" T-shirts are not a cute look. They make it seem as though you lack empowerment, respect and intelligence, even if the goal is just humor.
I feel so lucky to have the rights that I have, and I'm glad that I have access to the same things as men in this country, I have no reason to feel oppressed, and neither do you. When I tell you that I am excited to be a wife and a mother someday, I shouldn't get the scoff and eye roll that I do. "You mean you want to stay at home?" "You mean you're okay with being treated like a housewife for the rest of your life?" "You don't want to work??" Obviously I wouldn't be going to college if I didn't have some sort of career goals for myself, but when God decides that it's time for my husband and I to start a family, I will be more than happy, in fact, I will be ecstatic, to stay home and raise them while my husband brings home the bacon. My God gave me the spiritual gifts of maternal instinct, patience and tenderness, as well as the ability to bear children, because He wants us to bless this earth and be fruitful (Genesis 1:28).
Feminists, when I say I’m not a feminist, try to not be so condescending. Don’t shake your fist at me, or try to argue about how I could possibly not be a feminist and how maybe I don't understand what feminism means, because I understand and I hear you loud and clear. I don’t think we should be equal, I think we were made to live for God in very different ways. Please try to understand, that my belief in not being a feminist is my own, and not every Christian feels the same way as me, and understand that you don't need to try to convert me, because our goals in life are different. My goal is to do what pleases the Lord, and do it in whatever way I think that is. I want to live my life for God, for my husband, for my family and for those around me, in any way that I can.
