This article is for those of you who always find yourselves stressed out, running from place to place, overcommitted and overwhelmed. This article is for those of you who always say yes when someone asks you to help them with something or take on more responsibility, even though you're already struggling to hold it together. This article is for you, and it's time to listen up.
I know you. I am you. Everyone thinks you have it so together because you're always doing something, but the truth is that you're in a 24/7 scramble. You come across as competent and organized so people keep asking more of you, and you never say "no" because you want to make people happy. You tell yourself you can handle it — you'll just color code your planner and sleep a little less and never see your friends or family and stop eating regular meals. It's an easy slip and slide straight to hell, and I do it. All. The. Time.
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But enough is enough, people. How much are you willing to sacrifice to do so much? Your freedom? Your health? Your loved ones? Your self-care? Because at that point, you've gone too far.
It's time to cut out the extra stuff. You know — that one class you signed up for that you aren't that into, or that friend of a friend's party that you don't really want to go to, or that additional responsibility you halfheartedly took on at work. It's time to say no: to say, "I have too much on my plate," to say, "I really need to focus on what I've already committed to," to say, "Thank you so much for the opportunity but I can't at this time." It's time to say, "Can we reschedule lunch? I'm booked," or "I'm so sorry but I just need to stay in tonight."
I'm making it sound easy, and it's not. It's another practice in vulnerability, in honesty, and in selfishness. It's a practice in potentially making others upset and not feeling guilty about it. It's a practice in putting yourself first. For those of us who tend to put others first, that can be incredibly difficult. But ultimately we can help others most when we're in a healthy place ourselves.
If you're an overachiever, a doer, or ambitious, you sometimes feel like you have to do everything all by yourself. But the honest truth is this: the world will keep spinning without you. You don't have to overcommit yourself. You don't have to tackle everything that's thrown your way. Other people can and will pick up some slack; it's not your sole responsibility.
Start saying no to commitments that you don't want, to obligations you're not interested in, to all the other stuff that burdens your day-to-day life. Ask yourself, "Do I really want to do this?" And if the answer is no, then f*ck it.
