We all have that one person we can’t seem to let go of no matter how hard we try. We run back to them every single time we are feeling lonely and every time we do, we always end up asking ourselves, “Why do I keep going back?” It’s hard going through a breakup in the first place, we can all agree, but what’s even harder is trying to move on from it.

There are stages to it. Stage one: the “I don’t give a f***” stage. We go through our breakup and during those first few days, you don’t even care, or at least that’s what you tell yourself. You go about doing your own thing trying everything you can to keep your mind off of it because you don’t want to give them the time of day by being upset.

Then you’re hit with the second stage: the “oh shit, we’re really done…” During this time, maybe two weeks after the breakup, you start to realize what this means. Yeah, you should be happy because you’re single (woohoo!!) but that feeling is starting to wear off, and you start thinking about not being with that person anymore and what it actually means.

No more random FaceTime calls during the day because you can’t wait to tell them what you got on your anatomy exam, no more venting to them when you and your mom get in a fight, no more road trips seeing each other and the feeling of getting to hold them when you do finally see them. It’s all gone. And this second stage hits you out of nowhere. You could be with your friends having the best time, but a memory of them pops up in your head and you can’t seem to forget about it.

Soon enough after feeling down and upset you reach stage three: the acceptance stage. You tell yourself over and over “everything happens for a reason,” and although it’s so hard to believe, it’s true. If you were meant to be with them, you would be. And maybe you will be in the future, who knows, but right now you aren’t, and it’s time to start moving on from it.

You can’t keep yourself up late at night thinking about who you used to be with them. It will tear you down and give you the urge to reach out to them and tell them how much you miss them. You need to be stronger than that. Running back to someone who was removed from your life never does anyone any good; it just makes things worse.

We all go through bad breakups, everyone feels your pain. And you might think that you’ll never find someone that’ll love you for you like your ex did, but that’s not true. Someone new will come along, and I know you have heard this a million times, but they will show you why it never worked with anyone else. It will make sense with them and you’ll wonder why you ever wasted SO much time on someone that only ended up letting you go.

So keep your head up, don’t let those moments of you missing them get to you. You are strong. Move along with your life with your head held high and your standards even higher. Take the time of you being on your own and being single and run with it. Have fun with your friends, meet new people, laugh at your mistakes, and never look back. It’s all in your hands to let go and move on for good.