I always wanted to know… how does it feel to wake up and know you like what your doing.

I am a 21 year old Junior in college, enrolled in a BA/MA program for Communications...And I dislike it! Now, I know you’re reading from that line alone and saying then just switch, but the thing is...to what?

Since I was in kindergarten I knew college was always mandatory. My parents were never like “ it’s your life, blah blah.”. I knew from the age of five I needed to know what I wanted to do when I got older until I died. No pressure! From five to 21 the answer always changed...

At age 5-8 I would say, “I want to go to Yale and be a lawyer like the Clintons.” The answer was a lawyer at 5 and progressed as I got older.

I don't’ know what happened when I got older, but one day, I wanted to be a journalist. That was my freshman year in high school. That lasted until Junior year when I decided I wanted to be a news anchor. What's the difference? At that time, I don’t know if it still the same, when you hear journalist people automatically think, oh, newspaper writing or magazine. You say broadcast and they know you mean being on the TV, barring the bad news to everyone.

I started my freshmen year of college and I didn't want to do that. As I am writing this I am still asking myself what did I want to be between ages 9-13. Nothing! Which wouldn't be so bad, but there had to be something.

So I went to Community College. My first year, the first term, I was a journalism student. The second term, I switched to Liberal Arts and that's what my associate is in. I entered Drexel University for my third year of undergraduate study and I went in as an English major. I guess I really wanted to write. Yes! Write and not teach, because we all know with any English degree you can do what Communications and Business majors do... to some extent. After so many years since the fourth grade of being told the same thing when it comes to my writing, I decided to give it up. I know what you're thinking, Oh, the going got tough, but no...if you really struggle with something, your career in it won’t be so pleasant.

In between the ages of 9-13 and even now, there was so much I wanted to do and be. One year I wanted to write Movies and TV shows. I still do, I think that's why I took up English. I don’t trust myself to….well let’s just say, “I stay in a constant state of writer's block”. I thought okay, English is your way to write it out and have another job at some point.

Another year I wanted to be an Airline Pilot. I loved Traveling as a kid even more so by Plain. I never saw a female pilot and I think that intrigued me more about the occupation. I don’t care what my pilot is, but I was excited nonetheless “ yeah pilot!” I never knew how you really were allowed to become later in life. Aviation school with many numbers was not my thing.

There's always acting, I always wanted to do that. I wanted to be an Astronaut or Astronomer for like a solid six months. I don't’ know what happened to wanting to be a general politician but that could tie in with being a lawyer. Politics is an annoying field to be in honestly.

I can tell you thisI NEVER WANTED TO DO anything that had to deal with numerous classes of science and math. I didn’t want to do anything that had to do with physically building. I wasn’t fascinated by cooking, fashion, or kids, or anything in the medical field.

So, I choose the thing I first thought I might enjoy. I grew up with the news on all the time in my house. It seemed easy. I realized I actually don’t enjoy writing anymore. My Bachelor's degree will be in Journalism and the Master in Public Relations. I feel since I made it this far I might as well finish the degree and hopefully figure out a stellar game plan later on. Maybe the Ph.D. will be something different.

I just don't understand at the age of 21, how all my friends know exactly what they like. I mean exactly! They knew what they wanted to do and if they didn't, by sophomore year in college when they had to declare it, they were happy with their choices.

Let’s be honest, unless I work in a “science” field or Business one, I’m not making money to live, especially to pay back Drexel!