No, I'm Not Single. His Name Is Nalgene. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

No, I'm Not Single. His Name Is Nalgene.

A story of the love between a girl and her water bottle.

34
No, I'm Not Single. His Name Is Nalgene.
Olivia Hill

What follows is a non-fiction piece about a girl whose constant companion is her 32-oz Nalgene water bottle. This girl is me, in case that is unclear.

When I entered college about a year and a half ago, I decided that a nice, big water bottle would be great to carry around with me, just to make sure I received constant hydration. Important stuff. So, I did a little soul searching.

The first bottle I bought had too wide of a top, so every time I went to sip, I had to be really careful lest all the water would come pouring out onto me. We didn't last very long. Then, I found the bottle I thought could be the one. He was purple, 32-oz, and had a nice flip-open top that was the perfect size for sipping.

We remained a thing all throughout my freshman year. When I accidentally left him somewhere, I felt as though a limb was missing. But I always remembered exactly where to find him. We were almost inseparable.

However, like most relationships, it didn't last. I found that his flip-open top and mouth piece got too easily fouled-up from my constant drinking, and I didn't really wanna deal with all the upkeep. So this year, I left him at home and, after withdrawal had subsided, went looking for his replacement at the only place you truly can find what you need: Target.

And I really think he might be the one. Nalgene. He's a nice clear blue color with a head of black, and he proudly wears the 13.1 sticker I gave him as a sign of my commitment. I've yet to leave him anywhere alone; he is such a part of me, how could I ever?

I fill him three times a day, usually. And I stay loyal save for an occasional tea from my Peter Pan mug, which he doesn't mind, as nobody enjoys someone too clingy.

I make sure that he never feels neglected, and he makes sure I don't die of dehydration. As you can tell, the relationship is pretty well-balanced.

Of course, any strong relationship will have its faults. For example, a side effect of our companionship is that I wake up every night, without fail, and have to use the bathroom. I think it's the universe reminding me that Nalgene will always be there, even in my dreams, and even during the most banal daily activities.

Maybe our close relationship bothers my peers, as I twist him open ten times a class and tilt him upwards so I may drink; this may distract some and block the views of others, but it's only brief, and I have learned not to let it get in the way of our harmony. But in the end, he is my Nalgene, and I am his Olivia. We are one, and we are never seen apart.

So as Valentine's Day approaches, I want to give the ultimate thanks to my Nalgene, my love who lives only to quench my thirst. xoxo

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

190449
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

15042
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

457959
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

26691
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments