Friend: “OH MY GOSH that boy is so hot.”
Me: “….”
Friend: “Don’t you agree?”
Me: “Nah, not really.”

That was an exaggerated conversation I had with one of my friends, but it’s something that happens a lot: one of my female friends comments on how attractive they perceive a guy to be, and I abstain my comment.

I don’t find people attractive-at least, not in the traditional sense.

I hate when guys catcall me. Things like getting honked at when I’m walking down the street in a hoody, being creepily waved at from passing cars, and having people say things like “Oh, my man Henry just slept with a girl with a body just like that last night” don’t really flatter me.

I don’t check out guys because I don’t like to be checked out, and I want to start encouraging the idea that we should notice people by their actions and behaviors rather than their looks.

Even when people comment on my clothes or my hair it means nothing to me. The fact that I had a good hair day isn’t going to ripple through the future and create lasting change.

Granted, I can probably count on my hand the number of guys I’ve found attractive – but even then I try to challenge myself to focus on their character rather than their “good looks”. I want to surround myself with people creating change in their communities and empowering individuals they come across. I can tell if a guy would be attractive by other people’s standards – but I’m not going to really want to talk to them unless I know they care deeply about people and are rising to their fullest potential.

Go in peace dudes, and try to do something this week that creates lasting change in the world <3