I'm a nit-picker.

Nit-picking is my way of self-improving. Because of this way, I ensure that nothing in its entirety will ever truly impress me, and because of that disposition, I use every moment of dissatisfaction as a means to constantly sharpen my eye for improvement.

I think- scratch that- I KNOW I'm like this because of two factors: my mother being a therapist and my being an actress.

My trained skill to pick-apart performances, in search of how to make them better, has given me this societally unpleasant title of "Nit-Picker", "The Perfectionist", and "Godzilla of Group Projects."

While it may sound harsh and critical, to live consistently unimpressed, my mother's therapeutic positivity towards helping me understand how to solve my own issues in life has gifted me with a self-bettering spin towards my criticalness.

This ability to key-in on my own shortcomings, in combination with my understanding of how to build the steps needed to achieve fulfillment is my secret to success, and now it can be yours too!

So, here's my guide on how to be a self-bettering nit-picker like yours truly!

To achieve the constant battle that is reaching, in my case, very VERY highly set goals, correcting minute imperfections when they arise rather than condoning their appearance helps halt the inevitable build-up of molehills into mountains of self-deprecation.

For example, when I see my behavior or attitude slipping, as a nit-picker I always notice it. But noticing's not enough, the tell-tale sign of a true fusspot (Don't you just love that? Fusspot? What a synonym!) is the hyper-focusing on the slippage. You need to train yourself to stop condoning the little but unsatisfactory things of your life to the point of taking action to cut them out.

Honestly! Try today somehow to shake yourself out of any a current, unfulfilling, and sordid routine! What too much tv? Try change. Want to learn to cook? Try change. Want to be a better painter? Try change.

Remember how many new things we tried when we were little? Wake that You up! Put on your exuberant toddler optimism and curiosity and desire to do everything under the sun!

Even just a little change will evoke in you a new energy to achieve and succeed the goals you just “never have time or motivation to do”.

Along with physically enacting change comes the mental reframing. Action without the mental correction in your perspective leads to started goals and relapses into upsettingly "okay and comfortable" lifestyles.

See, a misconception about being a nit-picker is that we're self-deprecatingly critical. If that's you- check yourself. Now. If you want positive reformation in your life, you can't just start with hating what's wrong with you. That framing is just a no-no. You have to accept what you have got to work with, not with what's inherently "wrong" with you.

With me, I'm "open."

For those of you at home, human traits have been simplified into five main categories- and my big identifier is “Openness”. Find out where you fall on the spectrum of these big five with this scientifically-baked personality test!

Now, I use my openness (creative, original, curious, insightful, etc.) as fodder for the conception and execution of my very niche goals constantly. My creativity makes me want to be in a play while my need to be original makes me want to be the one to write that play. It’s perfect. I know the type of person I am, I accept it, I apply it to my trying change, I reach self-actualization.

The same can be seen in several studies run by scientists Harper and Larson. Participants were asked to list traits they currently possess, list traits they wished to possess, and then rate the extent of their possession over these traits. They noted how greater acceptance of possession corresponded with the greater positivity of the individual’s attitude. The outcome of this longitudinal research found that self-actualization is the precursor to a healthy and positive well-being.

In other words, the more the individual approves of the “me” they are, the better quality of life they lead.

So, as long as you accept yourself, can you find happiness. And if happiness to you means meeting certain goals, then, get cracking on accepting yourself. Only then can you begin to use your pre-laden strengths to reach the goals, all the while being positive and excited about the journey.

However, with every pro comes its con. Acceptance alone doesn’t lead people to their goals.

A lazy person can’t just accept that they’re lazy or else their goal of cleaning the house will never get done. They do however need to accept their quality, as to not begin a spiral of deprecating self-hate, and then work to improve that quality.

It is in acceptance that happiness is found, but in positive change, that progress is made.

By following this idea to work towards self-betterment of our trait, can we discover the quality of our own self-actualization and enact the change we seek within ourselves.

Now, just work at it. This change can only be sought with constant application and effort by you. Try a change, accept your unique gifts, reframe your perspective, and you’ll be set for a new life of nit-picking, fault finding, backseat driving, and most importantly, living the life you always wanted to live.

The time will pass no matter what, so why not start today to become the you that you have always wanted to be?