The suicide of Kurt Cobain was a major loss to the world of music. His raw talent and dark lyrics have left behind an untouchable legacy. Something I always wonder is what Nirvana would have sounded like today if Kurt had not taken his own life. It's probably something every fan wonders about from time to time, but I'm not sure where that wondering comes from. Does it come from mourning? Does it come from pure curiosity? Is it a combination of both? I guess we'll never know the real answer.

I'm not comparing Nirvana to The Beatles, but it is safe to say that they were just as revolutionary as the Fab Four. Here's the big difference though: When The Beatles broke up, we pretty much knew where the band stood. There were not really many loose ends as far as the music goes. Each member went their own way and we had enough answers to hold us over. This was not the case with Nirvana. The band was merely a toddler amongst the big kids on the playground, exploring the area and making their marks. They were successful in doing so, but did not have the chance to grow to their full potential. The life was cut short.

I think I speak on behalf of most fans when I say that Nirvana wasn't just any band from the 90's. They were so much more than that. My freshman year of college, I had to option to choose what I wanted to write about for one of my first essays. I have included a portion of that essay below, as I have tweaked it as the years have gone on. So, here is a piece of the essay I wrote and still continue to do research on:

Kyle Anderson, author of The Unsung Melodies of Kurt Cobain says that Nirvana’s last album, Unplugged in New York“may have left the breadcrumbs on the trail to where he (Kurt Cobain) could have been headed musically.” Unplugged had a sound that was much different from their usual music. After his tragic suicide on April 5^th, 1994 , fans of the band have often wondered: what would Nirvana sound like today if headman Kurt Cobain were still alive? Many of Cobain’s friends and confidants provide us with the information necessary to draw a conclusion to this question. Had Kurt Cobain not killed himself, the music of Nirvana would stray away from their typical grunge sound, and instead be soft and acoustic.

If Kurt Cobain did not kill himself, his music would have strayed away from how it usually sounded. Towards the end of his life, he was showing that he wanted to go in a different direction musically. What many people don’t know is that Cobain had different musical interests from outside of the genre he played. He was not exactly a collector of all music, but passionate about the music he liked. “Let’s say Kurt had 10 major influences, but he got something from every one of those influences.” Kurt Cobain was a huge fan of R.E.M. His confidants say he constantly talked about R.E.M’s album, Automatic for the People. Former Nirvana publicist Jim Merlis recalls: “He loved R.E.M in general, and I think that’s where he wanted to go.” Even though Kurt did not listen to every single artist out there for inspiration, the few influences he did have really stuck with him and slowly pushed him to where he wanted to go musically; a quieter and softer sound.

The sound of Nirvana would have eventually reached the soft and acoustic sound Kurt was working towards for a multitude of reasons. First of all, Unplugged in New York set the precedent for how Nirvana could have sounded in the future. There were many instances where Kurt’s performance style throughout the album that showed where Kurt would have gone. A big reason for this? His voice. Lead singer of Foo Fighters and former Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl talks about the unique quality of Kurt’s voice. “Kurt had a really special voice with a lot of character.” Grohl later adds: “You see a lot of it on Unplugged, where his voice will break.” Kurt could do so many more things with his voice in comparison to how he typically used it. Kyle Anderson says that Kurt Cobain had a “weathered yawp-an instrument that had the potential for much more than stadium screaming.” Kurt began to realize this, because he seemed to want something more low-key. There was an instance where Kurt played their album, In Utero, for his bandmate Dave Grohl as they were creating a collage for the back of the album. During their listening, Kurt seemed worried and displeased. “I don’t think he was ever happy with the mixes on that record.” Kurt’s slight disliking of his own work may have pushed him towards finding the softer sound he was searching for...

This concept is one that is so interesting because Kurt's life ended just so unexpectedly. Personally, I think Nirvana would have mellowed out a bit and eventually stray away from their sound while still keeping their true emotion. Of course, where we lost Nirvana we gained Foo Fighters - which is wonderful. But, the loss of Nirvana's place is something I think about literally everyday. The band had three major studio albums. We can only imagine where they could have went from there. Would they have split? Or would they still be going strong? I wish I knew the answer to this. Maybe the band is still together with their seventh album going platinum in a parallel universe. Until we have the knowledge to travel to one, I guess we will be left wondering.