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Politics and Activism

Ninth Planet May Be Denied Entry To Solar System

Some earthlings aren't as welcoming as you'd think.

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Ninth Planet May Be Denied Entry To Solar System

A theoretical ninth planet has been discovered amidst our solar system this week, provoking such a stir amongst astrology buffs everywhere. The planet, nicknamed “Planet 9,” exists outside the orbit of Neptune and has a mass that is about 10 times greater than that of the Earth’s. If the planet is confirmed to be a part of our solar system, it will take Pluto’s old position as our ninth planet. While many are quick to accept this new mass into our home in the universe, some skeptics are fearful of the cosmic entity.

These worrisome few have become convinced that Planet 9, should it be included in our solar system, will destroy the sanctity of the already existing planets and pose a threat to our safety. Many are quick to draw parallels between Planet 9 and the Death Star, believing Planet 9 to be able to commit acts of galactic terrorism regardless of the fact that the planet has no ideological beliefs, nor has any intent on engendering harm to anyone or any large mass in the known galaxy. As far as we know, its only purpose is to orbit the sun once every 20,000 Earth years or so.

Those who are opposed to the planet entering our solar system have proposed ways to complicate entry. One such proposal is the construction of a giant space wall in between Pluto and Planet 9 to define the border of what should be considered to be our solar system, leaving Planet 9 out in the cold. Another popular proposition forces the planet to wear a patch with an image of the Death Star to identify it as a possible threat. In addition, all planets entering this solar system would be prone to “Random Searches.”

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