Nineteen was the year of change.
It was the year of cutting my hair off and watching inches hit the salon floor. It was the year of dancing with my two left feet at concerts and feeling pure joy as everyone would copy the DJ. Throwing peace signs in the air, jumping to the beat of the music, putting lighters to the sky.
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It was... Happiness.
It was the year of jumping off cliffs and splashing into the water below. It was the year of losing my religion and finding spiritually within myself rather than a holy book or some church steps. It was the year of making eye contact with strangers and not being afraid to say hello.
I was beginning to find the girl that got lost in all the bullies growing up. It was the year I could look in the mirror and smile even though I knew my lazy eye made me different. The year of acceptance and the ability to leave the house without makeup on and still feel beautiful.
It was... Confidence.
It was the year I fell in love. With every freckle on his face, every curve of his body and the warmth of his fingertips. His hands reached for mine and he took me to a whole new world. A world of adventure and nature and music.
It was... First Loves.
It was moments spent with my feet in the ocean and my arms reaching out to the sky. It was miles of hiking, until my feet hurt, until I wanted to turn around and go home. But I knew the waterfall at the end of the trail would be worth every step.
It was the year my perspective changed and my whole world turned upside down. The sky seemed bigger and the grass got greener as I started to open my eyes to the beauty around me.
The year of experimenting and crying tears of joy and kissing strangers. It was saying "I love you" and actually meaning it.
It was... New Adventures.
It was heartbreak and loss and death in the family. But my god, it was still such a beautiful life. Even with my grandparents gone, even with the pain of losing my first love, I began to understand the way the world works. As I watched the sunsets slip by me day in and day out, time seemed to speed up and my father's hair began to turn grey.
It was... Acceptance.
It was the year of learning. Learning that I need to appreciate every moment I have on this earth. Learning how to breathe on my own. Learning that I could go anywhere in the world if I wanted to.
Independence. Choices. Freedom.
Learning that the world can be a dark place but only if you let the light burn out. Learning to be happy and trust in the wonders of the universe.
It was simply... Learning.
It was the year of leaving my hometown behind and realizing that the girl in that high school yearbook was gone. It was looking at old pictures of myself and not recognizing the girl in the photo.
It was... Change.
It was the year of you. And me. And all those smiling faces passing by. It was the year I watched the naive 17-year-old me disappear leaving room for my twenties.
It was the year of personal growth. Of love. Of seeing things for what they really are.
It was the year of finding myself. It was the year of nineteen.
