For the last few months, I've been compiling a list of the most bizarre, strangest historical slang terms I can find. If I've discovered one thing on this journey, it's that the good people of the 1920s were the best at coining weird phrases. Here are the ones I think most deserve to re-enter our vocabulary.
1. “Giggle Water”
What it means: Any kind of alcoholic beverage
How to use it: “Pour me up a glass of giggle water, why don't you?"
Other honorable mentions in the alcohol category include “foot juice,” “jag juice,” and the weirdly macabre phrase “coffin varnish.” What can I say? Flappers loved their booze.
2. “Struggle Buggy”
What it means: The backseat of a car—or, more broadly, what happens in the backseats of cars
Relevant related terms: “neck” (to kiss passionately), “pet” (to kiss really passionately), and, ultimately, “handcuff” (engagement ring.)
3. “Bull Session”
What it means: When two guys try to outdo each other in a show of manliness
The most iconic “bull session” of the 20s, of course, occurred in that…very memorable passage in A Moveable Feast where Ernest Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald spend some quality time in a Paris bathroom. I don’t think it’s printable here, but you can find it elsewhere on the web, and it’s a wild ride. Go read it—I’ll wait.
Read it? Okay. Let’s move on.
4. “Hot socks!”
What it means: Fantastic!
How to use it: ALL THE TIME. Seriously, why wouldn't you take any opportunity to use this one?
5. “Ducky”
What it means: Very good, excellent
How to use it: “Well, that’s just ducky.”
Honorable mention: “Hotsy-totsy.” Means the same thing—but, amazingly, manages to be even more fun.
6. "Cash or check?”
What it means: Would you like to kiss now or later?
This is actually adorable. Imagine you’re on a date with a dapper young fellow, probably wearing a three-piece suit, and he looks up at you over his drink, and it’s a very big moment but naturally you’re trying to stay cool about it all, and then he says “Cash or check, dear?”
How to use it: On classy dates, like to nice restaurants or the theater—or when you're just trying your best to get a seat in the old struggle buggy.
7. "Drugstore Cowboy"
What it means: Okay, we all know a drugstore cowboy. It’s the guy who hangs around trying to pick up any girl who’s willing to give him a second glance.
How to use it: On anyone who’s fond of the phrase “Nice guys finish last.” Like so:
“Have you seen Tyler lately?”
“Oh yeah, he's hanging out in the library hoping Jessica will notice him."
“Ugh, still? You know, he's a real drugstore cowboy.”
8. “Get a wiggle on”
What it means: To hurry up
This is one of those phrases that just makes you feel really happy inside every time you use it.
How to use it: “Come on, Jeff, we’re almost twenty minutes late—would you get a wiggle on already?”
9. “Old fruit”
The less dignified, much more bizarre version of Nick Carraway’s “old sport” from The Great Gatsby.
How to use it: “You’re the best, old fruit.”
(Or, actually…don’t use it. Ever. It’s...weird.)
10. “Oh, horsefeathers!”
What it means: Does this even need an explanation? It’s probably the greatest exclamation of all time. Any exasperating situation calls out for this gem.
How to use it: Liberally, and with gusto.
11. “Pulling a Daniel Boone”
What it means: Vomiting, particularly (and…predictably) after consuming too much alcohol
No idea where this one came from. Was Daniel Boone a heavy drinker? He does have a beer named after him, so I guess that’s worth something. The coonskin cap would be a pain to shove out of the way in the heat of the moment, though.
12. “To know one’s onions”
What it means: To know what you’re doing, to be competent
How to use it: “He’s a great professor, really knows his onions.”
13. “Sockdollager”
What it means: An action or event that has a great impact on the social scene
How to use it: “Remember when Lucy pulled a Daniel Boone all over the living room carpet last year?”
“Oh man, yeah! That was a real sockdollager.”
14. “Piffle”
What it means: A load of crap
How to use it: “Josh said he can’t make it to work because he's still got the flu.”
“Okay, that’s complete piffle—I just saw him buying coffee a few minutes ago.”
15. “Spifflicated”
What it means: Embarrassingly drunk
Honorable mention goes to “zozzled,” which means the same thing. I'm coming to the sudden realization that there are an awful lot of alcohol-related terms on this list
16. “Choice bit of calico”
What it means: An attractive person
Ironic because calico is basically the ugliest fabric around, straight after the mauve velour that makes up your grandmother’s living room curtains.
How to use it: “Wow...she's a choice bit of calico, am I right?"
17. “Fire extinguisher”
What it means: Chaperone
How to use it: “My mom insists on coming to the movies with me and Katie."
“Wow, dude, what a fire extinguisher.”
18. "Mind your potatoes”
What it means: To keep out of other people’s business
How to use it: “Did you and Andy break up again?”
“God, Kristy, why can’t you ever just mind your own potatoes?”
19. “Iron one’s shoelaces”
What it means: To go to the bathroom
Okay, what? Most of these make at least a bit of sense, but this one completely comes out of left field. Is this an early version of “powdering your nose?” What's the deal with the human race's aversion to just saying, "Hey guys, I need to pee"?
How to use it: “Where’s Phil?”
“Oh, you know…he went to iron his shoelaces, if you know what I mean.”