I am basically a grandma, and I totally accept it. I like a hot cup of tea, a nice warm sweater, and being in bed by 11. I have no shame; I'm proud of my grandma status.
Here are some of my favorite things about being the grandma of the group. I hope you enjoy, relate, and own your inner grandma because let's face it, she's doing something right.
1. You need and love bedtime.
You like your sleep. Like, if you are up past 10:30 pm you wonder how you are still functioning.
2. You know how to crochet, knit, or a combination of both.
You may have gotten this question once or twice.
3. You appreciate comfy sweaters.
You appreciate them especially if crazy patterns, with kittens, or just a proud Christmas sweater to celebrate the season. It's even better, if you pair them with loafers. let's face it, even if they are hot pink: loafers are loafers.
4. You have a grandma purse.
This may sound vague, but trust me I know. Do you have random, clean, folded up tissues in your bag? Cough drops, gum, hair ties, chapstick, hand lotion, hand sanitizer, a various assortment of snacks, and those little colored grandma candies? An assortment of all of these? You never know when you will need a plant bigger than you!
5. Crazy nights.
A crazy night out consists of staying out until 2 a.m, but making sure everyone gets home safe with texts and phone calls, saltines for everyone until their stomachs are settled, and then a long recovery period, because damn, you can't remember the last time that you stayed up until 2 a.m.
6. You're the advice-giver.
You give your friends wise advice about pretty much anything and everything. A bad grade? We will hug it out with some tea. Boy problems? Have some tea and cry it out, you'll be there. This card is basically you, but a "wise old soul."
7. You're the Holder.
8. Sleep is the number one priority.
Before a test? You need 8 hours. A long day ahead? 8 hours. This is not a joking matter.9. You know everything must be planned.
If plans aren't made by 8 pm, that means your plans consist of cuddling in bed with a good book. Anything after 8? Good luck trying to get me out. More often than not, wearing a large, fluffy bathrobe.
10. You aren't always up-to-date on the cool lingo.
If you have ever referred to something as "the weed," "the pot," "the youtube," or "those kids"... need I say more Especially if air quotes are involved.
11. Remembering that one night like...
If you look back on your crazy nights of freshman year, and think that a: that would kill you if you tried to do that again, or b: that you were a wild child as if that wasn't a year or two ago.
12. All the layering...all the time.
When it's cold, you give zero fucks about looking hot. If it is under 20, you can be found under a parka, scarf, sweater, two long sleeve shirts, a tank top, and some warm boots. Even if you go out, warmth is your main priority. Warm is your new sexy. Good luck trying to find me under all this.
13. You can coupon to the extreme.
Whether it is clothes shopping or food, you know how to shop sales. Couponing, clearance, and budgeting is your game and you're killing it.
14. You know the importance of hand-written messages.
Rather than calling or texting, you appreciate the value of a hand written letter or postcard. Taking the time to write means something to you. Everything is better with some glitter and cat stickers. People look at you as if you are writing with a goose quill. Relax people, it's called a ballpoint pen.
I hope you have enjoyed the #truth about being the grandma of the group. Have no shame, and someday you will find the Blanche to your Rose.
