Hello. It's Amanda. I'm trying to have a relaxing Thanksgiving break, so I invited my good friend Existential Nihilist Turkey to answer your advice. I heard you guys like him. He's good at advice, but not as good as me. Without further ado, here's ENT with some Post-Thanksgiving Advice™.

ENT,

I had a dope Thanksgiving-themed rager and there's Thanksgiving food everywhere. Like, actually everywhere (I found a turkey wing behind my couch. wat.) What should I do?

Clean Dan with a Dirty House, University of PAIN

Clean Dan/Dirty House

Honestly, just leave it there until it rots and stinks up your living room. Then, just move out. Don't let anyone know you're leaving the neighborhood and why your house smells like a three-week old deer carcass. Life's responsibilities are just too much, so just avoid them. Even something as simple as cleaning up your living room after a rager. xoxo ENT

ENT,

So my family didn't have a racist conversation at the dinner table, but they're having racist conversations literally everywhere else. Help?

[no name, no college]

Dear [no name, no college],

Kill your family just like y'all white people killed mine and all those Native Americans. Also, no one likes a racist. piece n blessins 3nT

ENT,

How do you feel about cranberry sauce?

Curious Cassie, UNC

Cassie.

I fucking love cranberry sauce. Gives my meaningless turkey life purpose. ttyl ent