My first encounter with Taylor Swift was when she was on the cover of my copy of Seventeen magazine when I was in seventh grade or so. I suddenly decided that I did not like her, perhaps only because she was becoming popular and this was at the same time that ‘hipster’ became a thing and I wanted to fit in with the people that didn’t fit in.

About a month later Love Story came on the radio. I had never heard the song before. I had decided that I hated Taylor Swift before I had even heard any of her music, at least not knowingly. I was sitting in the back seat and my brother in the front when I yelled, “Oooh! What song is this? I love it!” and my brother turned around and responded, “It’s Taylor Swift, that girl you hate!”

I promptly went home and watched all of her music videos that had been out at that point and bought all of her songs on iTunes. It was the first time I had heard music that I enjoyed so much. The lyrics felt like they could have come from my own mouth. Although I was in seventh grade and barely related to any of her lyrics, they felt like things a future me would be thinking about. Most of all, they inspired stories. I love to write, and I have always loved to write, and her songs were characters and plots and they were perfect. Sometimes I would listen to a song and imagine a character I was writing about was singing it. It helped flesh out my stories. It was so exciting to finally find a singer who I so purely enjoyed.

Listening to Taylor Swift for the first time was like floating on air for me. I felt like her music was made for me. And it’s pretty amazing that her music can do that for millions of people.

No, Taylor Swift is not the most fantastic singer. Lots of people point this out to me a lot of the time. But, honestly, for me, that was part of why I loved her (and why I still love her to this day). I remember chattering about her to my mom a few months after my Love Story revelation, “I can sing just like her, kind of! I can hit all of the notes and hold my breath for as long as her!” I felt like I was a good singer (although I definitely am not) because I could be like her. It was nice to finally have songs that I could sing along to and delude myself into thinking I almost sounded like them. Now, unfortunately, she has definitely gotten better and better at singing and it’s getting a little harder to delude myself.

Taylor Swift is much more famous than she was when I was 12. I am 20 now and it has become more and more difficult to say that I love Taylor Swift. In some ways, it’s easier because I care a lot less than I used to. But it’s still hard to love something and constantly be punished for it.

Taylor Swift is far from perfect. I, myself, am so very far from perfect. I have told a fair amount of lies in my time. I fall victim to wanting people to like me more than I want to be honest. Maybe that’s not a problem everyone has, but I don’t think anyone will ever find out. If all of us are lying, we can’t know the truth.

Obviously, I want to be honest and most of the time, I am. But if I picture myself as a target for everyone to throw darts at, as Taylor Swift pretty much is, I can see myself telling a lot more lies because I would be putting in quadruple the effort.

My career right now is a student. I do not rely on public opinion. I barely have to care about public opinion, mostly because the public does not have opinions on me. Taylor Swift’s entire career is reliant on public opinion.

When that is your situation, there are going to be slip-ups. I slip up all of the time, but even I barely notice because most people aren’t judging based off them. People remember Taylor Swift’s, though.

I have been asked far too many times if I will still listen to her music even though she lied about talking on the phone with Kanye West. As if her talking to Kanye West has anything to do with me listening to her music.

If I turn up her song on the radio, I have actually had people complain about her flavor of feminism.

These are valid criticisms of Taylor Swift, but if your goal is to make the whole world hate her because of these criticisms, you’re wrong.

It has gotten to the point where I can’t say I like Taylor Swift in public without someone bringing up a song she wrote when she was 17 and has publicly apologized for as a way to prove she is a bad person, or for people to name a bunch of reasons why her albums suck, or to talk about why they hate country.

Personally, Taylor Swift is almost the only thing I listen to. I don’t know why, but she is. And it’s hard to constantly be shamed or put down because you like her.

Every celebrity has scandals, but for some reason, Taylor Swift has the most offensive ones. Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I should stop listening to her because she doesn’t speak up about certain feminist issues and because she actually did talk on the phone with Kanye. But honestly, it’d be nice if people could give her fans a break.