I recently came across an article written by a fellow Odyssey content creator detailing the dangers and warning signs of dealing with, what he describes as, the "nice guy fuckboy." Unfortunately, this is a real thing. The article does a great job of explaining what exactly is meant by that term and gives solid examples of the kinds of actions such a person would take, as well as their motivations behind taking them. To extremely briefly summarize, a "nice guy fuckboy" is someone who isn't really a nice guy at all, but on the contrary is manipulative and self serving, using several tactics to hide their motivations behind the guise of being a genuinely nice person. The only thing that my fellow content creator fails to go into any great depth about, is the fact that actually genuine nice guys do exist, and not everyone is an impostor.
With the rise of hookup culture and online dating, as well as the decline in traditional dating, it is easier than ever for horny immoral guys to get what they want and get out quickly afterwards despite any costs to the other person. This tragically happens a lot. We have even invented the term "ghosting" to describe when an individual ceases all communication with someone and seemingly disappears from their life without warning. It's a common practice of fuckboys who have either already gotten what they wanted, or realized that they aren't going to get it that easily and it isn't worth the hassle to them.
With this stuff going on as much as it does, it makes sense that sometimes people begin to feel like they have a better chance of finding a unicorn out in the world than a genuinely nice guy, or like anyone that seems remotely nice must be a fuckboy in disguise with ulterior motives.
The fact of the matter is, actual nice guys do exist.
They may not always be easy to find, but I promise you that they are out there, and they are much more common than it may appear. The thing is, they probably won't be the guys that you find on Tinder, or the guys jumping to buy you a drink at the bar. Those tend to be fuckboy hunting grounds, so naturally you'll find more imposters than actual nice guys there. If they genuinely are nice guys, they probably won't be looking to swipe on and talk to multiple people at a time, deciding who and who isn't worthy of conversation based on a few pictures and maybe a couple words. They also probably won't be the ones contributing to you getting drunk and thus lowering your guard and losing some of your inhibitions.
The moral here is that there really are good guys out there and not just "nice guy fuckboys." No matter how many fakers you may come across, don't ever convince yourself otherwise or give up hope on finding a nice guy. If he seems like the real deal, don't be afraid to give him a chance. Just be smart about where you are looking for him, and always stay hopeful.
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