Imagine this, you're talking to one of your guy friends and they start complaining about not being able to get a relationship, and you decide to hear him out because you know dating can be frustrating.
He goes on to tell you he's been talking to this girl for a few weeks and he thought it was going well but she ended up friend zoning last night. Seems like a normal enough conversation? I mean we've all been there before. Well, you continue to listen and he explains that the reason this girl doesn't like him is that he's a "nice guy" and that girls don't like nice guys.
You roll your eyes and listen to him complain a bit more. If you're anything like me you might find his 'nice guy' comment beyond annoying and completely false but you choose to ignore it because you know he won't understand.
"Girls don't like 'nice' guys" - the infamous line that we've heard way too many times. The complaint that's usually followed with the completely untrue notion that girls only like assholes or some variation of that. Most girls do like nice guys. They want someone who cares about them, respects them and wants to spend time with them.
The real question here is: what makes a guy nice?
Is it because he asks how your day is going, or buys you little gifts? Maybe it's because he compliments you or walks you to class? All these instances are sweet and I'm sure any girl would love to be dotted on as such, but that doesn't make someone a nice person, especially if they're just doing it for something in return.
What most of these so-called 'nice' guys don't understand, is that just because you do something nice for someone, especially a romantic interest, doesn't mean they then owe you anything.
Being nice, and I mean genuinely nice, means not expecting anything in return. You don't get to be upset because the girl you were talking to didn't want to sleep with you. You don't get to call her mean names and put her on blast because she didn't return your feelings.
Personally, guys that use the guise of being a 'nice' guy to justify their complaints are more dangerous than the guys who are just openly assholes. Being nice to gain a girl's trust only to be angry when she doesn't give you want is predatory behavior. I get being immature and that dating can be frustrating but it becomes dangerous when men are using the 'nice' guy card as grown adults.
Women don't owe you anything.
They are allowed to say no, no matter how much you think you deserved something for being nice. The bar isn't that low, and I refuse to let someone make me feel bad because I didn't do what they wanted.
The truth is girls want nice guys. What they don't want is someone insulting them and calling them a 'slut' because they didn't do what you wanted. So the next time you get friend zoned or your feelings aren't reciprocated, don't blame it on "girls don't like nice guys" maybe blame it on the fact you aren't really all that nice.
Take responsibility for your actions and start trying to be a more genuine person, instead of hiding behind the whole 'nice' guy facade.
