Lately the expression, “Nice guys finish last” has become a little too fitting for my life.

I’ve always prided myself on being a good person, one who would give the shirt off my back to anyone in need, and I foolishly assumed everyone else would be like that too. Unfortunately, as I’ve gotten older— and a little too cynical— I’ve learned that it’s actually quite the opposite.

There is such a thing as ‘being too nice’, and maybe it’s not as bad as being too cruel, but it’s still a disadvantage. Because when you’re too nice, people start to walk all over you. When you’re too nice, your skin is too thin and your bones are easily breakable, thus, setting yourself up for constant unease. When you’re too nice, you start putting other people’s happiness before your own.

When you’re too nice, you start to say ‘yes’ even when you mean ‘no.’

Being too nice, or being too soft, is, in my opinion, a horrible trait to possess. Nice people don’t want to be taken advantage of, but it’s really hard when you hate to disappoint others… even if that means you end up disappointed instead. I don’t want to ever be considered a selfish person, but being nice also comes at a price I’m not always willing to pay.

So where is the line drawn between making yourself and everyone else around you, happy?