For some time now, I have taken a step back and have begun to watch those who are seemingly my friend, take advantage of my inability to say "no."

I find it tremendously difficult to tell someone "no" when they're either asking me a favor, sharing an idea, or asking me to do something for them. It's not that I don't have a spine, or a mind to recognize what exactly is going on and my role in the friendship; However, it's that there is a sliver of hope in my mind that if I lend my hand to those who need it, maybe they will return the favor when I need help in the future.

This has never been the case.

I have been approached with so-called friends helping me to write their own papers for school. I have no problem helping and I love the feeling of being important, so the answer is most likely always yes. Many of my friends, already know this.

BUT... The people who have approached me to lend a helping hand, don't really mean it that way. These people mean for me to do all of the work, and them to put their name on it. I can see through any excuse to the core reason, they simply just don't feel like doing it themselves. I get it. I don't want to do my homework sometimes either, but the fact of the matter is, I do it eventually.

So even though I know whatever excuse given to me is a farce, I do my part and help them out. Except thats my first problem, it isn't my part and I don't need to help them out. It's merely my subconscious begging for the need to be important.

This need goes beyond writing papers for lazy friends. This need extends to going out of my way to do things for people that they otherwise would never even think about doing for me. I have...

- Driven people places, near and far.

- When driving someone a far distance, I don't ask for gas money.

- Staying up late to help with an unimportant task when I have a test the next morning.

- Writing papers.

- Going to get someone food when they don't feel like it.

- Lending money that will never be returned.

I could say more but the list just gets more and more pathetic. I have come to the conclusion that the nice guy always finishes last. I don't mean the nice guy in competition with a bad one in an attempt to get a girl, but I mean the nice human being who is selfless enough to lend a helping hand and never get help in return.

In evaluating this conclusion, my resolution for 2017 is to learn the word "no." I will not write someone else's paper, I will not make myself 100% available for just anyone to take advantage of me, and I will not give my valuable time to someone who isn't worth a minute of it.