[insert short intro here. 1 sentence would be fine.]

Baltimore Ravens:

Tries to intimidate others by staring down everyone that walks through the door. The team leaves as they realize they would just blend in with the rest of the crowd.

Cincinnati Bengals:

Qualifies for any party games that are taking place. Yet, sticking with what usually happens, they are eliminated in the first round.

Cleveland Browns:

Is the life of the party. This escalates to an extreme level until the party is shut down. Inappropriate photos are taken and the guilty are severely punished. Everyone remembers why they aren't usually invited in the first place.

Pittsburgh Steelers:

Seem to be one injury away from returning to winning ways. Constantly frustrated that they are not able to get back to the glory days.

Houston Texas

Very talented squad that occasionally scares opposing teams during party games. Never advances far due to a lack of a "quarterback" type player.

Indianapolis Colts

Somehow always gets injured. Forty-year-old dad picks the team up. Stays around for fun. Ends up being better than anyone expected.

Jacksonville Jaguars: So irrelevant that they are constantly asked, "Who do you know here?"

Tennessee Titans: Constantly reminisce how they had some "Music City Miracle" thing that occurred over a decade ago. Never shuts up about it in order to hide how bad they currently are.

Buffalo Bills: The only one who never complains about how cold it is. Reminds everyone that they once advanced to the finals four times in a row. Doesn't remind everyone that they also proceeded to lose in the finals four times in a row.

Miami Dolphins: Brags about how sunny it is where they come from. Isn't proud to bring anything else up during conversation.

New England Patriots: Tries to showoff by bringing the most expensive drinks and the most attractive girls. Constantly chest-bumping and yelling loudly whenever they win at party games. But no high fives are ever seen. They just can't seem to execute those properly.

New York Jets: Overshadowed by the "favorite sibling" : The New York Giants

Denver Broncos: The opposite situation of The Indianapolis Colts: the old veteran isn't doing well. The "young gun" comes in to relieve him and ends up winning more than anyone imagined.

Kansas City Chiefs: Makes a lot of obnoxious noise. Contributes very little else to the party.

Oakland Raiders: Shows up in absurd outfits that are usually all black (they must think it's slimming or something). Like many others at the party, they reminisce about the glory days.

San Diego Chargers: Sticks with The Miami Dolphins all night as they can only talk about the same topics as them.

Chicago Bears: Does nothing but listen to some shuffle from the '80s.

Detroit Lions: Likes to play the pity card. No one offers them any sympathy.

Green Bay Packers: Celebrates party game victories by eating the entire party platter of appetizers that mainly consisted of cheese cubes.

Minnesota Vikings: Yell out obscenities and indecipherable moans whenever they lose a party game.

Atlanta Falcons: Constantly trying to pick fights with The New Orleans Saints out of jealousy.

Carolina Panthers: On the dance floor more than anyone else at the party. Continues to dance even though others are fed up with all of the attention that they receive.

New Orleans Saints: A true "rags to riches" story, they will continue to try to inspire others by telling it every five minutes. They will never let you forget it.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: The social outcast that is almost as irrelevant as The Jacksonville Jaguars.

Dallas Cowboys: Like The New England Patriots, they throw their money around and are proud of it. Unlike The New England Patriots, they do not make it very far into the party games if they even manage to make it at all.

New York Giants: Bullies the younger brother The New York Jets as they try to assert who the dominant sibling is.

Philadelphia Eagles: Lots of hype follows them whenever they show up at a party. Once there, they seem to come short of everyone's expectations.

Washington Redskins: Many think they are racist for some reason and are generally ostracized. Once they start winning at party games, it is overlooked why they were even excluded in the first place.

Arizona Cardinals: Like The Pittsburgh Steelers, they seem to be one injury away from winning it all. Unlike The Pittsburgh Steelers, they are unaccustomed to winning so they do not know what to expect.

San Francisco 49ers: So dysfunctional that they start to fight with each other. This scares everyone away from them. No one knows how long they will last at the party.

Seattle Seahawks: Always a favorite to win many of the party games. Questionable decision making ultimately leaves them just one yard short of victory.

St. Louis Rams: May be moving to L.A. soon. Never brings it up in conversation. Seems uncomfortable talking about it.