On December 24, at approximately 4:30 pm, what people are referring to as the 'nightmare before Christmas' occurred: the Cleveland Browns won their first game of the season.
I know that this may sound like a joyous occasion for the 'Dogpound', as Browns fans willingly refer to themselves, but if you look at this year's stats it is easy to determine the sad state of this win. By losing every game this season, one can only assume Cleveland's team was attempting to set a new record of a perfect losing streak. This win over the San Diego Chargers will now ruin the hopes and dreams of the Browns players, making their record 1-14.
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Many Cleveland fans mourn this win, lamenting over the parade that was being planned in celebration of the teams perfect loss record. As I listen out over the streets of Cleveland tonight, I can hear the sad wails of children who were just wishing for the Christmas Miracle of the Browns continuing their losing streak.
For now there is not much hope left in the team, who cannot continue losing but cannot make a come back either. Sports fans everywhere will not be having a Merry Christmas.
This article was written in a satirical nature.
