I was casually scrolling through my newsfeed a while back and came across an image with the caption, "I'm a girl who loves Marvel movies." Putting aside the fact that the images featured in the photo were actually DC, not Marvel, the image collectively generated thousands of eye-rolls and annoyed sighs, and rightfully so. This girl, whoever she was, was obviously proud of her special snowflake status.
We often scoff at such attention-seeking girls, but at some point, we've also been guilty of doing the same. I know I have.
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I shudder thinking about the days when I tried so hard to overcompensate for my discomfort at not being as conventionally beautiful by being as studious as possible. A faux feminist at the time, I railed against being forced to play with unmistakably gendered toys as a child, not being allowed to wear pants to church, and wearing makeup. By emphasizing to friends how much I loved to read and write, wear sweats, play basketball with the guys, watch "Star Trek," and listen specifically to baroque and Renaissance music, I distinguished myself as much as I could from mainstream versions of femininity.
Knowing what I know now about internalized misogyny and how devalued femininity truly is, I wish I could've mentored my teenage self out of this toxic mindset. I began to observe interactions between the second-grade girls and boys I tutored through a feminist lens. It broke my heart to hear little boys say things like, "It's just a stupid Barbie. My sister plays with Barbies, but I think they're dumb." I took note of how one little girl despised the color pink because it's "too girly." I realized that femininity is so denigrated that it's easier for a girl to be more gender fluid than it is for a boy.
I began to reassess my own likes and interests and figure out how I wished to express my own gender identity. I began to readopt into my life the traditional aspects of femininity that I'd previously scorned. I still love Barbies, Disney princesses and American Girl dolls. I've started wearing more skirts, crop tops, dresses and makeup. I can shave my legs because it feels good to me, not because I'm obligated to do so. I can shatter my own glass ceilings within femininity.
Feminism is, and should be, about choice. After educating ourselves on how sexism and double-standards affect our daily behavior and practices, we can then choose how we want to express our gender identity. Some girls will be career-oriented, others will be homemakers. Some girls will wear the hijab, others will not. Some girls will like Batman, others will like Barbie--and some will like both. Some girls will be, as one some brave soul on social media once noted, masculine, feminine, both, or neither--and that's okay.
Watch Marvel movies because you like them, not because boys won't like you if you don't. Watch Barbie and Disney princess movies because you like them, not because those are what girls are supposed to like. Do what feels natural to you.
