I spent the majority of my teenage years thinking "I wish I had a boyfriend," or "I wish I had a guy to go on cute dates with" or "when is a guy finally going to notice ME." Before going to bed I would imagine scenarios of meeting "the one" and I would plan out our lives together. These moments were truly... genuinely... absolutely... time wasted.

I know it sounds a little gloomy and depressing... but let me explain. I (and I'm sure many other girls) have built up this fantasy male companion in our heads based on what we see in movies and TV where everything is "happily ever after," but real life isn't like that. Odds are you are not going to meet your future partner by accidentally dropping your books in the hall, to which he kneels down to help you and your eyes lock and it is love at first sight. Thats not how real life works.

I used to try so hard to put myself out there and make myself available, but I just ended up looking desperate and like a try-hard. I asked myself why it was so easy for everyone else, yet the only time a guy would talk to me would be to "get my hot friends number." Every conversation with my friends would be "so how is your love life? Talking to any new guys?" Why does everyone care so much, and why is this the only thing that girls talk about? Why obsess over every boy that pays the slightest bit of attention to you when you are most likely going to get heartbroken in the end? I've heard far too many stories of people that get really excited when they first start talking to a new guy and become devastated months after because their expectations were too high and they jumped into things too quickly.

It took me quite a long time to get over my "boy crazy" phase, but I am quite proud to say that I am very happy with the way I am re-gaining control of my life and focusing on my relationships with my friends and family. They say that you will only find love when you're not looking for it, and I'm a firm believer in that. If it is meant to happen then it will happen. If I spent half the time I did worrying about boys by focusing on myself and my own life, then I would have been a much happier and healthier person.

You need to love yourself before you can love anyone else. No guy is worth your tears and you are worth so much more than that.