My fellow city dweller, we cannot possibly say we haven't read one of those “Things New Yorkers Hate” threads. They are simply everywhere and just like anything in New York City, many of us have a love-hate relationship with them. Here are the times that I have been one of those people. Yes, I mean one of those people who do all the things city dwellers, indeed, detest.
Before I begin, I just want to say I'm sorry in advance.
1. Taking one step into the train. That's it.
The other day (during rush hour, no less) I was possessed to take one step into the train and felt comfortable there, so I didn't move. My traveling buddy looked at me funny and pulled me further into the train cart. He said, “What are you doing?" and then it hit me. “Was I just one of those people?” He looked at me gravely and said, “Yes.” I don't think I'll ever be the same again.
2. Walking slow.
We all gotta be somewhere right? It seems like the moment you are in a hurry, slow-walkers spawn like they were waiting for this very moment, and you're trapped behind a wall of humans. Slow humans. I’ve been one of them and I don't know if the fact that it only happened because I was texting could excuse me. Deep down inside, I don't think it does.
3. Eating overly fragrant foods on the subway.
Okay, I haven't eaten halal food out of a styrofoam container in the middle of rush hour. However, there has been on occasion, instances when I'm running late and I'm hungry. I can't simply not have breakfast! It's the most important meal of the day! Besides the smell of eggs aren't that bad.
4. Hog up the condiment counter at a coffee shop.
Sometimes (and by sometimes I mean almost always) I find myself standing what feels like forever behind some schmuck putting Splenda in their coffee. Why do these packed Midtown coffee shops only have one teeny tiny counter? I need to speak with the architect; what were they thinking? By the time I get around to my turn I feel more than qualified to now be the new schmuck adding soy milk to my coffee. Slowly...while I text.
5. Having really loud, obnoxious conversations in public spaces.
People say the dumbest things. It's made worse when you have no choice but to be trapped with them, like let's say, in a train cart or restaurant. Not everyone needs to know your personalty business and especially your political views. There's nothing more irritating than hanging out having dinner and the table next to you is full of inconsiderate bums. Over the weekend, I visited some old friends in Saratoga and caught up over dinner. This particular restaurant only opened for dinner service, so we were the first ones in for seating. Our conversation got rowdy with laughs all around, and at some point I looked up and realized a few more tables has become occupied while our table was the loudest. Immediately, we quieted down since we really didn't want to be one of those people.
We all have the potential to be—or let's be real, have been—one of those people. It all comes down to being aware of our surroundings and being considerate of others. If more and more people committed to those two little things, maybe New Yorkers can concentrate their hate towards other more important things, like tourists.
