Where did we leave off?

Cher's "Believe" was playing in the background when my friend and I had just spotted the Santa Monica pier from a distance(part 1).

Even though the Ferris wheel wasn't spinning, a sure sign that it was closed for the night, we wanted to check it out anyway.

As we bopped over to the pier ( we almost never got there on account of the fact that I took a turn going too fast and cut over into the other lane) but thankfully there was no oncoming traffic. Collision averted, sir. How bummed would one of the Malibu folks be to find their precious sports car tarnished in an accident caused by Toyota Corolla that was driven by a young, less attractive Dolph Lundgren looking guy listening to the greatest pop-techno banger of all time. Probably pissed, huh?

Once we made it to Santa Monica we parked and hypothesized about how we imagined the pier might be after hours. Being a small town kid I kinda hoped that it'd be like those Night At The Museum movies where shit gets real after the place closes for the day and Ben Stiller freaks out. I imagined circus madmen spitting fireballs at impossibly large clowns and beach bodybuilders eating cotton candy off of each others’ grizzled, muscly ass-cheeks. The mind is a powerful thing...

Once we got within about 30 feet of the pier I was disappointed to see there were no bodybuilders and no pyrotechnics. Nonetheless it was still pretty incredible to get to see an area that is almost always insanely busy completely vacant. I never expected to feel at home at a massive tourist destination of all places but the nighttime emptiness of the pier felt a hell of a lot like my small town on any given night. It was pretty late at the time and we had to be in Vegas by daybreak so we ditched the pier and sped out of LA with a certain song on the speakers...

At this point I had been awake for about 30 hours, many of which were due to the fact that I hadn’t slept the night before due to the excitement of the trip. Surprisingly the joy of being on the road kept me awake and energized enough to get us through the desolate Nevada countryside and into a city that slept even less than I had: Las Vegas.

Full disclosure, I didn’t really care to stop in Vegas because I had been there once before and had got the experience already but my friend had never been so it was only fair. We got to Vegas around 5am and after driving down the strip, and failing to arrange a place to sleep in advance, we parked the car in the parking lot of a store called “The Container Store” and slept for a couple hours. And you guessed it....they sell containers. Who woulda thunk?

The cocktail of sleep deprivation, excitement, and the ridiculousness of sleeping outside The Container Store on Las Vegas Boulevard kept my pal and I laughing hysterically for about 10 minutes before falling asleep, occasionally waking to the yellow flash of the security guard’s lights patrolling the parking lot. Though I wanted to get some sleep, there was also part of me that wanted do something just nefarious enough to get arrested and booked for a bit so I could have a story about getting arrested at the fuckin' Container Store.

Hours later my pal shook me awake to deliver the news that by some miraculous twist of fate (online hotel booking sites) he found us a room at the Luxor for $70. And, because we are both decent blackjack players, we knew that we would be able to make enough on the tables to get the room and maybe even eat at the insane buffets that are so beloved in Vegas.

Long story short, we DID do well enough playing blackjack at the Luxor to fund the room AND treat ourselves to the buffet, which was nice but still a casino buffet. Turns out the Luxor’s buffet sushi isn’t so great but it’s tough to complain when you’re eating on house money

We absolutely made sure to stop by the Pawn Stars pawn shop and I even sold some sneakers to Chumlee! Alright that's a lie, it breaks my heart to report that Chumlee, Big Hass, Rick, and the Old Man weren't there :’’’’( The building is tiny and the staff seems like they’d buy your spleen if they could flip it for a decent profit.

After 1.5 days we got the hell out of Vegas and set our sights on the Mormon promise land of Salt Lake City but that’s a story for next week; a story that involves car crashes, snowstorms, a precarious sleeping arrangement...

and of course Cher's 1998 smash hit "Believe".