For many of us, the start of a new year signals an opportunity to reinvent ourselves. This often takes the form of a list of resolutions, things we promise to do (or not do) in order to improve our lives.
Yet, for as enthusiastic as we appear to be before the clock strikes midnight, most of those promises are broken not long after.
Why is this?
One of the most important things I learned while studying English in college is how powerful phrasing is. We’ve all heard the common saying, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” Professionals in marketing, publishing, or any field centered around proper wording will tell you how true that is.
When viewed from this vantage point, what you’re really trying to do when making a new year’s resolution is not emphasize why your old self has failed, but to sell the idea that a revitalized, self-improved you can succeed in the coming year.
Below are some examples of the most common new year’s resolutions, rephrased in order to (hopefully) make them stick!1. “Lose Weight” vs. “Adopt a Healthy Lifestyle”
Losing weight is a very common resolution to make; it was the most popular one in 2015, and the third most popular in 2016. I’ve certainly made this resolution more than once, and I know how hard it is to make it stick. When resolving to change your body image, what I believe is most important to remember is that no number on a scale, and no size on your waistband will make you love yourself more or less. Physical health, while very important, is only the tip of the iceberg. Rather than focusing on what you have to lose, resolve instead to live a healthier lifestyle next year. Think not only of the ways you can learn to enjoy nutritious meals and exercise, but of what you can do to promote a healthy mind and self-image as well. When your emotional, mental and physical states of being are all in harmony, you will look as good as you feel. And when push comes to shove, what matters is not that other people think you’re healthy in one way, but that you know you are in every way.
2. “Find a Significant Other” vs. “Appreciate my Significant Relationships”
3. “Acquire Wealth” vs. “Acquire New Experiences”
Money is often linked to happiness. True, financial security alleviates a great deal of strain from day-to-day life, but there is much more to personal wealth than having the bills paid. If you go into the new year with the mindset that you will automatically enjoy your life more if you have more money, then I guarantee you that the thrill will be short-lived. Money should not be a goal in and of itself, but seen as a means to an end; that end being the select experiences you most want to have this year. Whether that’s living debt-free or taking a dream vacation, when you learn to view money as a resource rather than something to hide under lock-and-key, you will be able to afford the joy you’re after.
4. “Get a Job” vs. “Advance My Career Goals”
As a recent college graduate, I know what it’s like to feel stagnant in what it is you want to do, as opposed to what you’re actually doing. I’m lucky enough to work part-time in an engaging and supportive environment, but I know that isn’t the case for everyone. This resolution is tricky, because it would be very foolish of me to say that you should refuse to take a job that isn’t perfect for you; that’s just not realistic, and as I mentioned earlier, money is a resource that plays a large part in realizing your dreams. So rather than blindly discrediting any other options, go into this next year with the mindset that any temporary position you find yourself in can be utilized as a stepping stone toward your ultimate career aspirations. You can use your current position as a networking opportunity, save a certain percentage of your paychecks to continue your education; the list goes on and on. Don’t focus completely on the short-term, and don’t go into this next phase of your career journey believing that you’re selling yourself short.
5. “Be Happier Tomorrow” vs. “Understand Why I’m Not Happy Now”
A doctor wouldn’t treat you without a diagnosis, and in just the same way, demanding that you simply become a happier person because it's the new calendar year is counterproductive. You may know that you are not fulfilled in your life right now, but that’s only a symptom of whatever the underlying problem is. You have to seek a problem out before you can solve it, and in this case, that involves a lot of reflection and, yes, some time. As odd as it sounds, understanding why you aren’t happy is an achievement because it provides you with powerful insight into your own psyche that you can arm yourself with later. You are a complex and dynamic being; there are parts of your mind and your emotions that you don’t always tap into and you may not know that they’re the cause of your suffering. It takes some people years to find happiness, and happiness cultivates itself in endless ways. Finding the root of your rut, so to speak, is the first step in figuring out what happiness is for you and how you can get there.
The new year may start instantaneously, but none of the resolutions mentioned above can be achieved so quickly. Don’t be discouraged if you fail to have a Cinderella moment.
Remember, all it took was one person to see a pumpkin in a new way for a fairytale to be born. This year, take some time to examine your life with a fresh set of eyes, and I promise you will see things in a whole new light.
Have a Blessed New Year!
