So the old year is on its way out (finally) and we can all bid a not-so-fond farewell and good riddance to 2016. What with all the drama and stress and loss and political unrest of the past year, it’s a wonder any of us made it out alive. But life is change, and I believe everyone can back me up when I say big changes are coming in 2017, starting with the annual influx of New Year’s Resolutions.
Most of America takes part in making (and breaking) these resolutions. Everyone wants to lose weight, eat clean, magically become a gym rat overnight, make money, get a promotion, find true love, or something. For the first bit of the new year, gyms are overflowing with enthusiastic people who are fully committed to these resolutions (until it gets difficult, or the bar is more fun or pizza). So many of these resolutions are based on improving the self in some way – physically, mentally, emotionally, or some combination of the three. And that’s all well and good – heck, I used to make resolutions like that. My personal yoga practice was a resolution at one point in time, and it’s blossomed into an integral part of my life and a teaching certification to boot. Resolutions are good. Change is good. And goals are necessary for improvement on some level.
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But now I’m a mom, and my priorities have shifted. I’m a working mom. I’m a mom with a full-time job, and I’m a grad student. To say that I’m busy is the understatement of the century, and the guilt gets to me from time to time. Every mom feels this guilt at some point. It doesn’t matter how hard you’re working to put food on the table and keep the bills paid, or how hard you try to build a better life for your children. You’ll still feel this guilt. It strikes in the mornings when you leave them with the sitter or at the daycare, or in the afternoons when you pick them up and they’ve learned a new word or taken new steps. Or at night, when you’ve worked late or been in class and get home after bedtime when you’ve missed the dinner time and the story time and the goodnight kisses. But working is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s all-too-necessary in this hard world in which we live. But as I said before, my priorities have shifted from pre-child me to now, and I’ve found that my resolutions have shifted with my priorities.
Let’s start with exercise. If I had the time, money, and energy, I’d be a gym rat. I’d go every day. But instead of my resolution reading “I will work out every day,” it reads a little differently. My first resolution, as a working mom, is “I will play with my children.” I will teach them the joys of the outdoors; I will show them how to run and jump and skip, to chase clouds and shadows and butterflies. I will play. And they will keep their spark of childhood a little longer.
On to diet now. I’m a decent cook. I bake all kinds of sweets, and I can fix all kinds of comfort food. But I’ve never really stuck to a healthy meal plan because let’s face it – life is hard and I eat my feelings, usually dipped in chocolate. But I have two little ones who look up to me and follow my example, especially now that they’re growing up. So instead of “I will eat clean to lose weight in 2017,” my resolution has become “I will nourish my children.” I will show them how to prepare meals that sustain and heal. I will teach them about the importance of fresh versus preserved, and the need for balance within the diet. And they will grow stronger and healthier because of it.
Finally, mental and emotional resolutions. Many people search for fulfillment, love, God, something to fill the gaps within their broken and empty hearts. I’m blessed – I found love years ago in my sweet, loving, patient, supportive husband. Then, I found more with both of our boys. So my resolution is different yet again. Instead of a focus on self-love, or self-improvement, or finding romance, it has become “I will be love for my boys.” I will show them how to be kind, compassionate, caring. I will teach them to share, to consider the feelings of others. I will show them how to be a light in this dark, fallen world. I will teach them to love others. And they will learn to be the love and the change this world needs.
I will still be a working mother. I will still be busy, either with school or job, and I will never be the storybook mom with the clean house and gourmet meals. But I will be a good mom. I love my children fiercely and without inhibitions. And I will fight every day to fulfill these three resolutions. They are simple steps. They are doable. And they are what’s best for my children, so they will be done.
