As the New Year rolls, it’s a time of year where everyone sets a New Years resolution. Everyone that is except me. Since I could remember, I always had people asking or teachers making us write down our New Year goals. What we hope to achieve this year as a student or a person. I agree that setting goals is good, but setting a New Years goal is complete bull s***. Now some of you might be wondering what on earth I’m talking about and that you love New Years resolutions. But if you take a look back at your resolutions you might have made through out the years, how many of those did you actually accomplish? Most people plan to lose a certain amount of weight, join a gym, or be a better person. But somewhere around mid- February you start to lose your goal and give up. What’s the point of making a resolution if you can’t even make it two months in? My logic is to make more realistic goals or make baby goals throughout the year. Goals are always good to have in life, it helps you reach for things you might not have done before. But setting a “resolution” so to say isn’t the same. Do I have some things I want to accomplish in 2017? For sure! I’d like to go to the gym more and push myself to be a better person and find myself. But do I expect it to be done by the end of the year or for it all to magically change at once? No. Not making high expectations of what you want out of the year won’t make it more disappointing when not everything you wanted to do, didn’t happen. New year’s is just a day on the calendar that marks a New Year. There’s nothing particularly drastically changing from December 31st to January 1st other then it’s a New Year. Sometimes just letting life happen is the best goal you can set for yourself.
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1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!
I get it, my shining pale face among this sea of caramel-toned goddesses is easy to pick out. Thanks for boosting my self esteem.
2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.
Yes, lights on or lights off, you still can't lose me.
3. Can't you just get fake tan?
White+orange= orange. I'm going to let you think that one through.
4. Do you tan or just burn?
By the looks of my lobster-red tan lines after being in the sun for fifteen minutes, I'd say the latter.
5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!
Thanks for transferring all my insecurities to my children. I'm crossing my fingers and toes they won't inherit this trait... for their sake.
6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!
Congratulations!
7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!
Don't turn me against my own kind.
8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!
Must be nice to lay out without having to hide under a towel.
9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.
I'm just reapplying my SPF 5000 every twenty minutes because it's fun for me.
10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??
Yes, because I wanted my nose to disappear in this photo.
11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!
The blood rushes to your face too, ya know. My skin just does a worse job of hiding it...
12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!
Can't a girl wear white or pale pink or light yellow without being ridiculed?!
13. You need to get some sun.
Don't tell me how to live my life.
14. Aren't you excited for summer?
No. Because everyone is the same color as I am in the winter.
But hey, enjoy your tan lines and perfect selfies while you can. Because I'll be laughing when you look like leather and my porcelain skin keeps on keeping on.
1. Child prodigies:
No 9-year-old should be that talented.
2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:
The worst is when you're assigned the same piece. Like why.
3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:
"It gets easier to perform the more you do it." LIES.
4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:
Chances are, those classes require the most practice/rehearsal/homework. And you don't even get credit for all of your hard work.
5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:
It's much harder to appreciate Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 5 in C Minor when all you can think of is all the homework sitting on your desk at home and the inevitable all-nighter in your near future.
6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:
"I may have rocked that melisma on the second page, but the Eb in the third bar was really flat."
7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:
Imagine America's Got Talent every semester...for a grade...yeah, Simon Cowell's nothing compared to juries.
8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:
I thought we were supposed to look nice?
9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:
Is it too hard to ask for some peace and quiet around here?!
10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:
'Popera' is not opera. Educate yourself, hon.
11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.
Actually, it's more like finals month. And not only do we have exams, but we also have countless performances to prepare for. And juries. And essays.
12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:
I haven't slept in 6 days, my recital is next week, and I haven't even started researching for the essay on Stravinsky that's due in 2 weeks, but I'm fine.
13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:
You're a musician for life. So go out there and kick booty.
1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.
If the kids get a pool pass, so do you. It's not exactly a leisurely swim when you have to keep an eye on the kids, but it's a good opportunity to work on your tan and get out of the house. Plus, a day at the pool tires out the kids.
2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.
You may just be the nanny, but that doesn't stop the other moms from wanting to include you in their gossip sessions or carpool rotations.
3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.
Dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, character mac & cheese, you name it.
4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.
The only type of bag that can hold a plethora of snacks, sand toys, and extra clothes for the kids to change into after they swim.
5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.
You've been given the extra booster seat for running errands with the kids during the week. Next thing you know, it's Saturday night and your friends are laughing over the crammed backseat, car seat and all.
6. Their nap time is your happy time.
If you can somehow manage to get all the kids napping at the same time, major props to you. Now you can enjoy a few hours to yourself (or maybe even take a nap of your own!).
7. Lunch time can be a disaster.
When they can't agree on a meal or when you don't make it exactly like their mom does...
8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.
"Sure, we can play Monopoly again for the hundredth time in a row," said no sane person ever.9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.
When you ask them to clean their room and they ask "why?!" you can finally reply with "because I said so," just like your mom would say to you.
10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.
Forcing the kids to wear sunscreen while they play outside is such a motherly thing to do, and you love it.
11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.
And then you're reminded why you have the best summer job in the world and wouldn't trade it for anything.
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