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6 New Year's Kiss Alternatives

Ring in the New Year with something less basic

Caroline McGuire

Dec 27, 2016

Union College - New York

Best Western Sedona

The New Years Eve kiss. Apparently, English and German folklore created the superstitious tradition that at the strike of 12 we are to lock lips with someone to celebrate the new year. This kiss is supposed to bring you "a year of luck in love" or just good or bad fortune depending on who you share it with. And this is why I'm not superstitious, like how wishy-washy is that "you may or may not have good fortune if you kiss a certain person." I'm calling BS on that one. As many of us know, finding a new years kiss can be extremely unrealistic, especially if you spend it on a couch with your relatives. I wish I had some statistic that shows the amount of people who aren't kissed versus those who are, but I'm sure the latter is smaller. So if you find yourself without another pair of lips to lock with when the clock strikes 12, here are some equally good alternatives.

Your dog (or anyone's dog)

They'll always kiss you back and are much much softer than any human.

The closest champagne bottle

Grab the nearest bottle of bubbly and drink, now that's a New Years tradition. Amy gets it.

A Hershey kiss

It's still a kiss right?!?! I can't even tell the difference, I mean just look at those sweet thangs.

Pass out at 11

Beat the system, it's not like you haven't seen the ball drop and you'll be well rested for the New Year!

Snacks

With New Years Eve parties come hors d’oeuvres on hors d’oeuvres on hors d’oeuvres. If you don't have mini pigs in a blanket, you're doing it all wrong.

Fireworks

If you can't find a spark with anyone else... light some bad boys up, piss your neighbors off, just don't blow yourself up.

But if you are truly a hopeless romantic and can't find your kiss, admit defeat by watching When Harry Met Sally and sob yourself into the New Year.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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6 New Year's Kiss Alternatives

Ring in the New Year with something less basic

Your dog (or anyone's dog)

The closest champagne bottle

A Hershey kiss

Pass out at 11

Snacks

Fireworks

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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