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6 New Year's Kiss Alternatives

Ring in the New Year with something less basic

Caroline McGuire

Dec 27, 2016

Union College - New York

Best Western Sedona

The New Years Eve kiss. Apparently, English and German folklore created the superstitious tradition that at the strike of 12 we are to lock lips with someone to celebrate the new year. This kiss is supposed to bring you "a year of luck in love" or just good or bad fortune depending on who you share it with. And this is why I'm not superstitious, like how wishy-washy is that "you may or may not have good fortune if you kiss a certain person." I'm calling BS on that one. As many of us know, finding a new years kiss can be extremely unrealistic, especially if you spend it on a couch with your relatives. I wish I had some statistic that shows the amount of people who aren't kissed versus those who are, but I'm sure the latter is smaller. So if you find yourself without another pair of lips to lock with when the clock strikes 12, here are some equally good alternatives.

Your dog (or anyone's dog)

They'll always kiss you back and are much much softer than any human.

The closest champagne bottle

Grab the nearest bottle of bubbly and drink, now that's a New Years tradition. Amy gets it.

A Hershey kiss

It's still a kiss right?!?! I can't even tell the difference, I mean just look at those sweet thangs.

Pass out at 11

Beat the system, it's not like you haven't seen the ball drop and you'll be well rested for the New Year!

Snacks

With New Years Eve parties come hors d’oeuvres on hors d’oeuvres on hors d’oeuvres. If you don't have mini pigs in a blanket, you're doing it all wrong.

Fireworks

If you can't find a spark with anyone else... light some bad boys up, piss your neighbors off, just don't blow yourself up.

But if you are truly a hopeless romantic and can't find your kiss, admit defeat by watching When Harry Met Sally and sob yourself into the New Year.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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6 New Year's Kiss Alternatives

Ring in the New Year with something less basic

Your dog (or anyone's dog)

The closest champagne bottle

A Hershey kiss

Pass out at 11

Snacks

Fireworks

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Making the world safer through language.

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2. Stop using the words "opposite sex" or "both sexes" or "opposite gender" or "both genders".

3. Ask people's pronouns when you meet them.

4. Use the word cisgender.

5. Stop saying "born a boy/girl" about a transgender or non-binary person.

6. Stop using the term 'preferred pronouns'.

7. Stop using a transgender or non-binary person's dead name.

Queen B sums it up for us.

Sometimes, we just can't help the feelings we have

1. Wow. My voice sounds amazing with this song.

2. Okay, if you can't sing, don't do it.

3. But wait, I don't think I can be friends with someone who isn't going to jam out in the car with me.

4. Dance part in the car! Even when I'm alone. Because every song is my favorite.

5. Stop light. Act calm. Be cool.

6. Yes! Green light! Back at it!

7. I don't know this song, but I'm going to sing along anyway.

8. Why am I not famous yet?

9. Being next to someone who can't sing so you feel good about yourself because you rock!

10. OK, I'm so good. I need to sing louder so I can help these people out.

11. My voice doesn't reach some of those notes, maybe I should sit this one out.

12. Randomly bursting out in song and getting weird looks because of it.

13. God, thank you so much for giving me a good voice.

14. Man, I feel bad for people who can't sing.

15. Was I just humming? Did they hear me?

16. Having dance moves to go along with most songs.

17. Not being able to stop yourself at correcting people when they mess up.

18. Maybe I should post myself singing.

19. Nah, can't do it. Dumb idea.

20. Having my own personal concert in the shower. Every single time.

Normal people wouldn't understand

1. Having time to nap between classes or at all.

2. Waking up 10 minutes before your class starts and making it there in time.

3. Making it to class in general

4. Only having to hit the snooze button three times.

5. When you didn't do the homework and the teacher decides not to collect it for that day.

6. Getting that "I'm sorry, but class is cancelled" email.

7. Finding a quiet seat in the library.

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9. Having a friend to eat lunch with.

10. Finishing an assignment before the due date.

11. When there is free food on campus.

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