On December 31st, 2019, we sat and wondered what 2020 would bring. We made resolutions, plans, and set new goals for the year ahead. It was like every other New Years' Eve, but we soon learned that 2020 was a year like never before. Some probably made resolutions to eat healthier or go to the gym more. But, I did not and gave up on setting new years resolutions. The whole "new year, new me" rhetoric doesn't resonate with me anymore. So, on December 31st, 2019, I envisioned the year ahead and wrote. -

Imagine this-

A year devoted to love in all forms.

Endless cups of coffee and delicious food.

Small acts of kindness in every which way.

A hug here and a smile there.

imagine this love-

Feel it in your bones,

Envision what it looks like around you.

Now view this as the love of self.

Picture every day feeling this love -

From an internal reservoir,

That knows no boundaries.

A mirror wouldn't matter nor numbers nor sizes.

Just love-

I'm seeing in 20/20 vision of what will become and it is self-love.

While this year felt scary, overwhelming, and hopeless I found the things that matter the most. Going into the new year, I knew that the pursuit of weight loss will not provide the kind of love I desperately searched for. I decided to learn how to love myself instead of resolving to start a new diet or get to the gym more. As we come to the end of the year, I can say I struggled at times but I am learning. This year made me softer, more compassionate, and appreciative.

Throughout the year, I struggled to love myself and to find hope as I was stripped of my high school graduation, prom, and a normal first college semester. I have friends who had COVID-19 and lost a family member to this awful virus. We didn't get to say goodbye, nor could his daughter who is on the frontlines of the pandemic as a first-year ER-resident. This year was experienced alone and the reality of the world right now is painful to exist in.

Nonetheless, you have survived the unimaginable. Maybe you had COVID-19, know someone who did, or lost someone to the virus. Regardless, in some shape or form, it has impacted your everyday life. With this being said, as we go into 2021, I encourage you to not make resolutions to change your body, go to the gym more, or start a new diet. Your body has carried you through this terrible year and deserves your love and compassion as you enter into the year ahead. Diet culture will make you believe health and wellness look like weight loss but I can tell you from personal experience it's not. As 2021 begins, set the goal to do more of what makes you happy,