It’s that time of year when we hear everyone claiming their future resolutions and muttering the saying, “New year, new me.” While I am not trying to criticize anyone for attempting to make changes and creating goals for the new year, I personally do not want to guarantee a new identify for myself, but improve the person I already am. Over the past year I have fallen, I have struggled, I have almost given up on myself, but I have also learned important lessons to carry into the future and to help me appreciate the person I am and move forward with love and forgiveness towards myself.

With that being said, here are a few of the lessons I have learned throughout the year that I hope to keep in the back of my mind when moving forward:

1. To be unapologetic for how I feel.

My emotions are there for a reason, and without taking the time to address those reasons, those feelings become out of control; therefore, I deserve the time to understand how I feel and express that to others to reach the peace and solace I need. Along with that, I have learned that since those emotions are my own, I cannot blame others for the times when my feelings are out of control as I am the person who can change them. In addition to that, I have learned to focus on respecting others for how they feel because they deserve that same respect as I give myself.

2. To remember that small acts of kindness can go far.

Everyone is fighting his or her own battle, so you can never know how great an impact you have on others. Maybe the compliment you give someone contains the only kind words they have heard all day. Or maybe after failing over and over again, you are the person that lifts someone’s spirit by simply offering help. Kindness goes a long way, and when combined with your sincere concern, you may be able to make someone go from feeling isolated and alone to supported and comforted.

3. To stop putting others down.

I have wasted a lot of my time in 2016, not just hearing negative comments but also saying unkind things about others too. While I cannot control what others say, I fully have the capability to think before I speak, as cliché as that sounds. In the past I have been good at keeping in mind that two wrongs do not make a right and that I should always treat others how I want to be treated, but I somehow fumbled this year and slipped. So I want to focus on the fact that even though someone hurts me, his or her actions reflect their character, not my own. And even though I am hurting, others do not deserve to get the backlash from that hurt and there is no positive outcome from speaking negatively.

4. To ask for help.

We are created so that we are not living alone, but surrounded by others who are willing to give support and comfort and anything you need to help you get through the toughest times. The hardest step (speaking from experience) is getting over the anxiety of asking for help and just reaching out, even those to whom you are closest. But once you face that fear and start to challenge it and move forward, you realize that the fear minimizes each time until eventually it is gone. I have struggled and still struggle to reach out, but I can guarantee you that I would not be here without the help of others, so sometimes using every ounce of courage to overcome your fear helps save your life.

5. To prioritize my health.

I have one body and one life to live, so it’s important to nourish and nurture it whenever I can. I have learned that no one knows your body better than yourself, so if you need sleep, sleep. If you need to recover, take time to recover. If you need to eat, fuel your body with the nutrients it needs. Listen to what your body is telling you and take care of it. I have learned this year that sometimes it is significant to ignore others when they say to “push through” pain or weakness or sickness when I am really hurting. Take care of yourself, you cannot guarantee someone will do it for you.

6. To spend time with the people I care about.

People grow up, move apart, and we lose time and the opportunity to be with the ones that we love. So I stress how important it is to try to lengthen the conversations or the meals or time spent visiting with others, because we never know when they can be gone. Being present with those we care about and living in the moment will make all the difference when looking back at memories and how we spent our time.

7. To forgive and trust again.

Personally, this is one of the lessons that I struggle with the most. I have always been considered to be an extremely forgiving person, but rebuilding trust is a lengthy process. We were not guided with forgiveness to only help others, but ourselves too, so we can be at peace and free from the difficulties we face. Forgiveness not only helps us with the situation, but to help us move forward and mend broken relationships. However, while it is significant to forgive others, it is just as important to forgive oneself. You deserve to let go, more forward, and trust yourself, so start with taking the time to forgive whatever you have done in the past.

8. To love myself.

While I say I have struggled with many of these lessons, but this one triumphs over the rest. I have never really understood why the hardest person to love is oneself, but what I have learned is what a gratifying feeling comes when you give yourself the freedom to do so. We all fall. We all make mistakes. We all have wishes about what we could change. But the most important thing to remember is that this world would not be the same without you. Because you exist, you are worthy. And important. And matter. And most importantly, deserve your own love, so let’s spend the next year with as much self-love that we can possibly handle.

Here’s to more lessons upcoming in 2017, and to constantly improving myself with every new year to come.