Let me preface this by saying that you should by no means stop complimenting people on their appearance. Any compliment is a wonderful thing to give to a person, and you can make their whole day monumentally better. But what happens after that person takes off the outfit, makeup, etc., that you complimented them on?

While it's still important to compliment people on how they choose to present themselves, it should be balanced with compliments that will outlast that particular day. Think back to the last compliment you received. Was it about your appearance? If it was, reflect on how that made you feel. I assume pretty great. But let me ask you: are you still wearing said article that you were complimented on? It seems to me that unless you dress and style yourself like a cartoon character from the early 2000s, these types of compliments have a very short lifespan.

So I suggest that you mix your compliments up a bit. Unsure of how? Here are a few of my favorites.

1. You have a great sense of humor.

2. I like spending time with you.

3. You inspire me.

4. You're the kind of person my grandma would like.

5. You always say the right thing.

6. I trust you.

Now, while these compliments are more meaningful, they inherently don't apply to people you don't know. You can't tell the girl sitting next to you in class that she makes you feel valued and respected, unless she somehow does that in the span of however long you've been sitting next to her. So, I will admit that this method doesn't apply in every scenario, and it's probably for the best that you stick to complimenting strangers on just their appearance and whatnot.

This still leaves room for a bit of creativity, however. Let's take the classroom as an example. You could tell the person next to you that they have a cute binder or really nice handwriting. Or that you appreciate how they don't take up too much space (I'm talking to you, guy in my stats class, who assumes I don't mind when you use part of my desk). Even with people you don't know, you can still improve their day with a few kind words. It just takes a bit of innovation and creative thinking to give compliments that have a more lasting effect.

The main point I'm trying to make is that, now more than ever, we value material goods and appearances over a lot of other things. When you look on Instagram you'll notice the "Instagram famous" people are those who spend a lot of time showcasing how they look and what they own. Now, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If you're really feeling your abs, or just bought a fancy new lipstick that you want to show off, then more power to you. But it's becoming increasingly hard to separate the limited portrayal of these people's lives that we see with the actual world. If you walk outside, chances are that not even half of the people you see will be like the people you see online.

So why is this a problem, and what the heck does it have to do with how we compliment people? Well, if we keep complimenting people on how they look and what they buy, then we continually establish a correlation between these things and approval from others. Whether you'd like to admit it or not, we all seek approval from those around us. But increasing pressure gets put on those who don't have the same opportunities or circumstances as the conventionally desired or approved people.

We are all different shapes and sizes, and we all come from different backgrounds, but it's hard to celebrate these differences when we give superficial praise. If we really want people to feel good about themselves, we should be complimenting them on things that have a deeper value than how they look and what they own. I know that self-love comes from within, but it's far easier to love yourself when you're given compliments that have a lasting impact.

So the next time you want to say something nice to someone, take a moment to look a little deeper. If your first instinct is still to compliment them on how they look, then consider expanding on that. Tell them that they have a unique sense of style, or that they always look nice and presentable. It's OK if you still initially compliment people on the most superficial aspects of themselves. Like I said, these compliments are still nice to give and receive. It's just a matter of changing your mindset. One's character doesn't lie in the first thing you think because that's how you've been conditioned to respond. Instead, it lies in what you think afterwards and how you have taught yourself to view those around you.