#NewSemesterNewMe amirite?? At the beginning of every semester, we all regain a bit of the glistening hope we had coming into our freshman year of college. We swear that this semester we'll be smarter/fitter/healthier/more put together. For some of us, these resolutions become a reality. However, for most we're lucky if they even last through syllabus week. For that underachieving majority, here are the 10 new semester resolutions and how you'll break them.
1. "I'm not going to skip a single class."
Let me know how that goes when you try and wake up for your 8 a.m. after being out all night, it's 20 degrees outside, and you're at the best part of whatever show you're currently binging on Netflix.
2. "I'm not eating out/ordering food/getting fast food at all this semester."
*five minutes later gets text from friend to go to Chick-fil-A and caves*
3. "I'm going to the library everyday."
Also you: "My teacher never gives reading quizzes and I can totally finish that paper in one night (or two hours before it's due)."
4. "I'm going to the gym at least four times a week."
Remember that Netflix series? How about your comfy bed?? Are you really going to leave those to torture yourself on the treadmill??? Didn't think so...
5. "I'm not going to go out every night of the week."
*gets text from same friend who wanted Chick-fil-A about a huge party tonight that is going to definitely be the best night ever and caves*
6. "I'm going to keep my clothes off the floor and clean every Sunday."
Hey, you know where everything is when it's messy! And you have a clear path from your bed to the door, what more could you need?
7. "I'm going to take more pictures with my friends. We need more memories!"
*looks so bad in the pictures taken the first night and decides pictures/memories aren't that important*
8. "I'm going to remove my makeup every night before I go to bed."
Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Right...
9. I'm never talking to (insert jerk boy's name here) ever again. Under any circumstances!"
Oh come on. You already know you're going to respond to his "Where you at" text so fast you won't even process what just happened until the damage is already done.
10. "I'm not going to spend any unnecessary money/try and save some."
*spends $50 at the bar buying drinks for random strangers*
