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10 New Semester Resolutions (And How You'll Break Them)

You'll get 'em next year!

Jan 23, 2017

10 New Semester Resolutions (And How You'll Break Them)

#NewSemesterNewMe amirite?? At the beginning of every semester, we all regain a bit of the glistening hope we had coming into our freshman year of college. We swear that this semester we'll be smarter/fitter/healthier/more put together. For some of us, these resolutions become a reality. However, for most we're lucky if they even last through syllabus week. For that underachieving majority, here are the 10 new semester resolutions and how you'll break them.

1. "I'm not going to skip a single class."

Let me know how that goes when you try and wake up for your 8 a.m. after being out all night, it's 20 degrees outside, and you're at the best part of whatever show you're currently binging on Netflix.

2. "I'm not eating out/ordering food/getting fast food at all this semester."

*five minutes later gets text from friend to go to Chick-fil-A and caves*

3. "I'm going to the library everyday."

Also you: "My teacher never gives reading quizzes and I can totally finish that paper in one night (or two hours before it's due)."

4. "I'm going to the gym at least four times a week."

Remember that Netflix series? How about your comfy bed?? Are you really going to leave those to torture yourself on the treadmill??? Didn't think so...

5. "I'm not going to go out every night of the week."

*gets text from same friend who wanted Chick-fil-A about a huge party tonight that is going to definitely be the best night ever and caves*

6. "I'm going to keep my clothes off the floor and clean every Sunday."

Hey, you know where everything is when it's messy! And you have a clear path from your bed to the door, what more could you need?

7. "I'm going to take more pictures with my friends. We need more memories!"

*looks so bad in the pictures taken the first night and decides pictures/memories aren't that important*

8. "I'm going to remove my makeup every night before I go to bed."

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Right...

9. I'm never talking to (insert jerk boy's name here) ever again. Under any circumstances!"

Oh come on. You already know you're going to respond to his "Where you at" text so fast you won't even process what just happened until the damage is already done.

10. "I'm not going to spend any unnecessary money/try and save some."

*spends $50 at the bar buying drinks for random strangers*

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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10 New Semester Resolutions (And How You'll Break Them)

You'll get 'em next year!

1. "I'm not going to skip a single class."

2. "I'm not eating out/ordering food/getting fast food at all this semester."

3. "I'm going to the library everyday."

4. "I'm going to the gym at least four times a week."

5. "I'm not going to go out every night of the week."

6. "I'm going to keep my clothes off the floor and clean every Sunday."

7. "I'm going to take more pictures with my friends. We need more memories!"

8. "I'm going to remove my makeup every night before I go to bed."

9. I'm never talking to (insert jerk boy's name here) ever again. Under any circumstances!"

10. "I'm not going to spend any unnecessary money/try and save some."

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1. "Unlimited Freedom!"

2. "Dorm Life!"

3. "Never mind, where is my apartment?"

4. "Whose idea was this 8 AM?"

5. I'm so looking forward to that nap."

6. "I don't have the brain capacity for this"

7. "Wow, college is great"

It's easier than you think.

1. Look into Housing and Dining.

2. Pay attention to campus postings.

3. Find common interest groups.

4. Join an intramural sports team.

5. Work on a cause that you care about.

6. Join a club related to your major.

7. Get an on-campus job.

8. Volunteer.

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

1. You need people to hang out with.

2. You don’t want to be stuck alone eating lunch or dinner.

3. Weekends suck without anyone to share them with.

4. College will be miserable for you.

5. Finding a roommate for the following year will be impossible.

6. You need someone to talk to about personal stuff or homework that isn’t your mom.

7. Classes will be boring and quiet for you if you don’t know anyone.

8. Walking around campus is just awkward.

9. Homework help and study buddies do not exist.

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

1. Comfort

2. Confidence

3. Surprises

4. Self Esteem

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

1. You dress for the temperature of the library, not the weather outside.

2. You say hello to the security guard when he or she walks by.

3. The employees at Starbucks know your name and order.

4. You eat all your meals at a library cubby, not at your own house.

5. You take the quiet floors very seriously.

6. Any night you are not at the library is a special occasion.

7. You have shown up to the library hungover on more than one occasion.

8. Your friends always text you when they are going to the library because they know you will be there.

9. You have taken a nap in the library at some point.

10. You know all the cold and hot spots in the library.

11. You've seen your studying pay off.

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