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10 New Semester Resolutions (And How You'll Break Them)

You'll get 'em next year!

Jan 23, 2017

10 New Semester Resolutions (And How You'll Break Them)

#NewSemesterNewMe amirite?? At the beginning of every semester, we all regain a bit of the glistening hope we had coming into our freshman year of college. We swear that this semester we'll be smarter/fitter/healthier/more put together. For some of us, these resolutions become a reality. However, for most we're lucky if they even last through syllabus week. For that underachieving majority, here are the 10 new semester resolutions and how you'll break them.

1. "I'm not going to skip a single class."

Let me know how that goes when you try and wake up for your 8 a.m. after being out all night, it's 20 degrees outside, and you're at the best part of whatever show you're currently binging on Netflix.

2. "I'm not eating out/ordering food/getting fast food at all this semester."

*five minutes later gets text from friend to go to Chick-fil-A and caves*

3. "I'm going to the library everyday."

Also you: "My teacher never gives reading quizzes and I can totally finish that paper in one night (or two hours before it's due)."

4. "I'm going to the gym at least four times a week."

Remember that Netflix series? How about your comfy bed?? Are you really going to leave those to torture yourself on the treadmill??? Didn't think so...

5. "I'm not going to go out every night of the week."

*gets text from same friend who wanted Chick-fil-A about a huge party tonight that is going to definitely be the best night ever and caves*

6. "I'm going to keep my clothes off the floor and clean every Sunday."

Hey, you know where everything is when it's messy! And you have a clear path from your bed to the door, what more could you need?

7. "I'm going to take more pictures with my friends. We need more memories!"

*looks so bad in the pictures taken the first night and decides pictures/memories aren't that important*

8. "I'm going to remove my makeup every night before I go to bed."

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Right...

9. I'm never talking to (insert jerk boy's name here) ever again. Under any circumstances!"

Oh come on. You already know you're going to respond to his "Where you at" text so fast you won't even process what just happened until the damage is already done.

10. "I'm not going to spend any unnecessary money/try and save some."

*spends $50 at the bar buying drinks for random strangers*

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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10 New Semester Resolutions (And How You'll Break Them)

You'll get 'em next year!

1. "I'm not going to skip a single class."

2. "I'm not eating out/ordering food/getting fast food at all this semester."

3. "I'm going to the library everyday."

4. "I'm going to the gym at least four times a week."

5. "I'm not going to go out every night of the week."

6. "I'm going to keep my clothes off the floor and clean every Sunday."

7. "I'm going to take more pictures with my friends. We need more memories!"

8. "I'm going to remove my makeup every night before I go to bed."

9. I'm never talking to (insert jerk boy's name here) ever again. Under any circumstances!"

10. "I'm not going to spend any unnecessary money/try and save some."

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The most common: "Is it time to go back to school yet?"

1. “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”

2. “A home cooked meal at last.”

3. “Happy Holidays! I need to bake cookies and watch movies.”

4. “Reunited and it feels so good!"

5. "Okay, it's January second. Time to go back to school.”

6. "$125 to rent a textbook?"

7. “I should probably get some shifts in.”

8. “I’m broke.”

9. “I’m hungry.”

10. “How many more days left of break?”

11. “I love not having any responsibilities.”

12. “I’m staying in bed. All. Day.”

13. “Wait, should I start working out?”

14. “Wow I need to go back to school.”

The holiday season can be the best and most stressful time of the year, especially when more people are involved.

1. The Family Traditions

2. Enough food for an actual army

3. Never enough space

4. Always Loud & Never Boring

5. Parties. Parties. Parties.

6. Scheduling

7. Travelling

8. The family members you see once a year

9. DRAMA

10. The questions about life

AKA, Christmas overload.

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater

2. Buy a Lottery Ticket

3. Vote in an Election

4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity

5. Go on a Road Trip

6. Start a Savings Account

7. Get a Credit Card

8. Sign up for Spotify Premium

9. Go to a Club

10. Start a Meditation Routine

11. Go to a Yoga Class

12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One

13. Volunteer for a Charity

14. Participate in a Research Study

15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)

16. Go Skydiving

17. Be Called for Jury Duty

18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

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