About 7 months ago, I wrote an article about how thankful I was for my first year here in Eau Claire and all the memories I made and friends that I met. It's funny how much can change in just 7 months. Don't get me wrong, I still love this place. But the tables have turned.
Things changed back at the end of September. A little less than a month after moving back in here, I had lost that feeling of contentment that I had once held when thinking about coming back here for another year of school. This was right around the time that I wrote an article about getting lost. That's really how I felt at the time - lost. I called my mom and proceeded to break down crying.
"I think I need to transfer."
Those were the easiest and hardest words to say all at once. I knew that I didn't suddenly feel different being here for no reason. I knew that I had to take some kind of action to change the situation. But it was so hard for me to think that I was now so set on leaving the place that I had been so excited to return to a month ago. I couldn't believe that I was now talking about leaving this place that has helped me grow and gain confidence, which is something I don't see in myself a lot. And I struggled a lot with feeling like I was losing ground somehow or thinking that I've wasted time here. Honestly, I don't regret one bit of the last year and a half.
But when you know, you know.
I know that's such a cliche. But I think that you can tell when things need to change. In cases like this, it's a hard thing to know. Some days it seems like it would be easier for me to have not realized it. It would have been much simpler to say that I'm going to finish out my sophomore year here and then figure things out or something along those lines. It would have been easier, but I don't think that it would have been right. I think either way there would have been tears.
But now the tears are because it is the most bittersweet feeling to be thinking about leaving this place. I stand by what I said 7 months ago. I cannot thank this place enough for giving me so many great experiences and so many amazing people. But good things come to an end. I wasn't meant to carry out 4 years here as much as I may have believed that less than a year ago. I am being called home for the time being. But this journey has been beautiful.
I will be back in Minnesota working, exploring, and getting an associates degree while I figure out what my next move will be in this crazy game of life.
To all my pals here in Eau Claire, please don't hesitate to reach out. Please stay in touch. I love you and wish you nothing but the best for all of you. Thank you to those who have encouraged me in this transition.
I say it all the time, but no matter where I go, there will always be a piece of my heart that resides here.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
