The Story Of The Soup Diet | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

The Story Of The Soup Diet

The new moderate diet that won't change your lifestyle for shit.

21
The Story Of The Soup Diet
luluandlattes.com

I am a certified nutritionist and by certified I mean not legally trained to do anything except drive, give CPR, and kick ass (World Taekwondo Federation). Let me tell you about the most excellent thing to do to your body since slicing it with bread. Most of us probably gained a little pudge over the last semester. Late Night Cafe, Insomnia Cookies, vending machines, we each have our favorite poison. In my case, it was a 3 pound sack of Halloween candy I told myself I would share. I lied. Now no one really wants to go out and chug grass or inhale chia seeds or scream at gluten or whatever. Those are fad diets and while they may work for some, they definitely don't look fun. If you have a meal plan here at Warren let me tell you about a precious resource you've been squandering. sQUAndering. Squa. Soup, people. Tubs of that rancid sauce for you to enjoy. My personal diet plan is based on one concept and one only: if it's not solid, it's better for you. Now I realize in basic principle that is a flawed concept; I mean we have milkshakes, beer, and snake poison, but soup is a good liquid. This diet, The Soup Diet, is basic and easy to remember. Every meal is soup from the Warren dining hall. You eat until you're full. No snacks except berries and a singular granola bar a day. You can drink water and tea. It's a way more controlled way to eat. There's a psychological component too. Soup doesn't pile up like pasta and it isn't served to you in set portions like a chicken breast or a slice of pizza. You know exactly how much you get in each bowl and you pour it yourself. See, it's like Freud himself came up with it, right after telling you that your desire to diet comes from sexual repression and that you're subconsciously upset that your husband just doesn't realize that you're a woman with needs and he just sits there and reads that damn paper and he's definitely got some young fraulein he's been seeing while you rot in this damn house. Plus, since soup is a liquid, it fills you up quick. In the Warren cafeteria there's usually two soups a day so you can take your pick. This is especially important if you've got dietary restrictions. If neither suits your needs I guess... exercise? In conclusion, the soup diet, a diet of all-liquid meals, plus some light exercise (in my case I plan to take the stairs at least once a day), should help gently slim you down and warm you up during the cold winter semester.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
girl with a hat

This is for the girls who have dealt with an emotionally, mentally, physically or verbally abusive father.

The ones who have grown up with a false lens of what love is and how relationships should be. The ones who have cried themselves to sleep wondering why he hurts you and your family so much. This is for all the girls who fall in love with broken boys that carry baggage bigger than their own, thinking it's their job to heal them because you watched your mother do the same.

Keep Reading...Show less
Blair Waldorf Quote
"DESTINY IS FOR LOSERS. IT'S JUST A STUPID EXCUSE TO WAIT FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN INSTEAD OF MAKING THEM HAPPEN." - BLAIR WALDORF.

The world stopped in 2012 when our beloved show "Gossip Girl" ended. For six straight years, we would all tune in every Monday at 9:00 p.m. to see Upper Eastside royalty in the form of a Burberry headband clad Blair Waldorf. Blair was the big sister that we all loved to hate. How could we ever forget the epic showdowns between her and her frenemy Serena Van Der Woodsen? Or the time she banished Georgina Sparks to a Christian summer camp? How about that time when she and her girls took down Bart Bass? Blair is life. She's taught us how to dress, how to be ambitious, and most importantly, how to throw the perfect shade.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

11 Moments Every College Freshman Has Experienced

Because we made it, and because high school seniors deserve to know what they're getting themselves into

408
too tired to care

We've all been there. From move-in day to the first finals week in college, your first term is an adventure from start to finish. In honor of college decisions coming out recently, I want to recap some of the most common experiences college freshmen experience.

1. The awkward hellos on move-in day.

You're moving your stuff onto your floor, and you will encounter people you don't know yet in the hallway. They live on your floor, so you'll awkwardly smile and maybe introduce yourself. As you walk away, you will wonder if they will ever speak to you again, but don't worry, there's a good chance that you will make some great friends on your floor!

Keep Reading...Show less
laptop
Unsplash

The college years are a time for personal growth and success. Everyone comes in with expectations about how their life is supposed to turn out and envision the future. We all freak out when things don't go exactly as planned or when our expectations are unmet. As time goes on, we realize that the uncertainty of college is what makes it great. Here are some helpful reminders about life in college.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Lessons I Learned My Freshman Year

The first year of college opens your eyes to so many new experiences.

70
johnson hall
Samantha Sigsworth

Recently I completed my freshman year of college, and boy, what an experience. It was a completely new learning environment and I can't believe how much I learned. In an effort to save time, here are the ten biggest lessons I learned from my first year of college.

1. Everyone is in the same boat

For me, the scariest part of starting school was that I was alone, that I wouldn't be able to make any friends and that I would stick out. Despite being told time and time again that everyone had these same feelings, it didn't really click until the first day when I saw all the other freshman looking as uneasy and uncomfortable as me. Therefore, I cannot stress this enough, everyone is feeling as nervous as you.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments