I'm not the girl to write a sappy open letter to my boyfriend. My articles on men have been my problems, my experiences and my past. A military relationship is all but easy, and the surprise homecomings make it better. We're not able to hug out an argument or grab lunch when we want and we're rarely in the same timezone. The lessons I've learned since meeting him, have been what I appreciate the most.
Lesson One: Technology is a blessing.
Dating a Marine has taught me that I am absolute privileged to call whomever, whenever. Writing letters while he was in boot camp was a pain. It was exciting to receive mail, probably more exciting than college acceptance letters, but it was still the impatience of waiting that I will never miss. To be able to call my older brother when I need to talk, or to call my mom when I need anything, is something I don't take for granted anymore. His younger sister can't share her accomplishments with her brother as easily as I can, nor can his mom call him at any time when she misses him the way my mom can. Not to mention, I'm generally always in the same time zone as my friends and family, not across the country, or across the world. Having technology to communicate with him while he's in Japan has been amazing.
Lesson Two: Time is ticking.
His leave time has taught me that time eventually runs out. When we had a week together, we spent so much time together, and then it was gone and he was on a plane back to California. This last leave was an entire month, and on the first of the month it felt like an eternity, but by the last week, we sat there wondering where time went. Your time on Earth is limited, and can end at any time. I find myself spending less time on my phone when i'm with my friends and family, than what I used to spend. I make more time and rearrange my schedules to fit in plans with friends and family quicker than I used to. Someday, I'll regret not spending enough time with someone I love.
Lesson Three: People actually change.
Who I was when I met him, was not at all who I am now. He has changed immensely as well, and for the better. When we began hanging out, my friends, his friends, my cousin they all warned us it wasn't going to work out. We were both hot-headed people who were used to getting whatever we wanted with little to no effort. We were used to people making an effort to talk to us, hang out with us, and be with us. Now, we both make an effort for each other, consistently. We weren't screwed over the way everyone said we would be. We're making it work, despite what people had said would happen. I have always said that people never change, because I have seen too many people repeat their mistakes. I have only said it once since I've met him, versus nearly saying it every day prior to meeting him.
Lesson Four: Not all guys are the same.
My past isn't a secret. I have written articles, and explained the situations to family members and friends. I am open about the mistreatment I have experienced. For that reason, I was warned about trying to talk to a hot-headed guy, but I ignored the warnings because I'm the same way. We have extremely similar personalities and they work together and mesh so well. He is caring, considerate, and is future-oriented. I have never really been a future planner, and I don't necessarily think he was either, but together we plan ahead because we're forced to. We have to ask ourselves about the future, because we don't see each other for months at a time.
Lesson Five: Do what makes you happy
If you're not happy, change something. If you're arguing with your friends or significant other, find the true issue, find a solution, compromise and move on. Happiness is not something you should jeopardize at anytime or any point in your life. My past relationships were based on one of us compromising enough to solve the problem, but one of us being completely unhappy as a result. One of us was happy in the end, and one of us wasn't. You hear guys say it in movies: "I give up my happiness for her happiness all the time." So I always thought that that's how things were. That's how compromise worked. Meeting my boyfriend has taught me that compromise is literally a compromise. You both win, you're both happy. Happiness is the key to life.
Lesson Six: Find people who compliment you.
No, not the "You look stunning today," compliments (even though that's a nice addition). The compliment of your personality and life is what you need. Have people around that actually genuinely make you happy. Have people that are working toward similar goals as you, because you'll fight harder. Don't have people who are going nowhere in your life. You'll find yourself making excuses for slacking off. I was so used to keeping people around because they had been around for so long, or we had gone through so much. The happiness I have experienced throughout the duration of him being in my life, relationship or not, has changed how I see people. I don't complain as much as I used to. I don't get as agitated or annoyed, because I don't have people who are negative in my life. I am closer with people who are positive, bubbly, future-oriented and people who have real life goals. I've learned to surround myself with people going places, so we can support each other during all of our successes.
My relationship is all about full-potential. We push each other towards success, and are there when we're struggling. We listen to each other and support each other wholeheartedly. We look out for each other's best interests and will make sure happiness is not compromised. It's been a blessing having someone as such a huge compliment to my life, and now all my biggest supporters have my best interest at heart.
