According to Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_blaming), victim blaming "occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially responsible for the harm that befell them.[1] The study of victimology seeks to mitigate the perception of victims as responsible." There seems to be some debate, especially recently, as to what constitutes victim blaming and when (if ever) it is okay. Below, you will find instances in which victim blaming is appropriate.
1. When Hermione Punched Malfoy
Remember in the 3rd Harry Potter movie when Hermione punched Draco Malfoy in the face because he was the mega-jerk responsible for Buckbeak's death sentence? To be fair, Malfoy never asked to be punched, and you should never use violence in real life, kiddos, but this is a fictional story and Malfoy had an animal sentenced to death because he was being an idiot and got hurt. Victim=Malfoy. Blaming Scale= We'll allow it, but no more violence.
2. When a Team Pours Gatorade on Your Head Because Your the Coach and You Won the Superbowl
Let's say that your team wins their big sportsball game. At the end of the game, you see the entire team lift a giant cooler of Gatorade and dump it on their coach. In this instance, the coach is technically the victim of a sport's drink shower. However, as we continually see this year after year (often times with the same teams) we have to conclude that coaches have no complaints about this. Given that they won, it can be the coach in question probably expected this outcome. Victim= Coaches Everywhere. Blaming Scale=Totally Cool to Blame the Coach for training an awesome team.
3. When You Fail a Test Because You Stayed Up Until 3 am Watching Netflix
So, a new season of Orange is the New Black comes on Netflix, and you simply have to watch the whole thing in one night. The problem is, you have a test the next day that you haven't studied for and won't get the chance to. You end up failing the test and your grade drops a few points, no big deal. In this case, you are either the victim of the appeal of Netflix, or of your teachers lack of a curve. Victim=You. Blame Scale=Yup, totally your fault, dude. Don't watch Netflix when you have a test.
When Victim Blaming Is NOT Okay:
In all seriousness, victim blaming is NEVER okay. Recently, the letter written by the Stanford rape victim has been circulating the internet.One thing that caught my eye in the letter was the portion when the victim list examples of the types of questions that she was asked:
"How old are you? How much do you weigh? What did you eat that day? Well what did you have for dinner? Who made dinner? Did you drink with dinner? No, not even water? When did you drink? How much did you drink? What container did you drink out of? Who gave you the drink? How much do you usually drink? Who dropped you off at this party? At what time? But where exactly? What were you wearing? Why were you going to this party? What’ d you do when you got there? Are you sure you did that? But what time did you do that? What does this text mean? Who were you texting? When did you urinate? Where did you urinate? With whom did you urinate outside? Was your phone on silent when your sister called? Do you remember silencing it? Really because on page 53 I’d like to point out that you said it was set to ring. Did you drink in college? You said you were a party animal? How many times did you black out? Did you party at frats? Are you serious with your boyfriend? Are you sexually active with him? When did you start dating? Would you ever cheat? Do you have a history of cheating? What do you mean when you said you wanted to reward him? Do you remember what time you woke up? Were you wearing your cardigan? What color was your cardigan? Do you remember any more from that night? No? Okay, well, we’ll let Brock fill it in." https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-letter-the-stanford-victim-read-to-her-ra?utm_term=.ialDN4g36z#.pfVeBVAG5M
As the list goes on, we see more questions pertaining to what the victim was wearing, her history of drinking, and times that she attended parties in college. Now, the defense attorneys are simply doing their job, but most of the aforementioned questions are ridiculous. They insinuate that the victim is partially to blame for the actions of the perpetrator. Being under the influence of alcohol should never be an excuse for any wrong that was committed during said time. In fact, neither party is able to give consent after both started drinking.
To the Victim/Any Victim of Sexual Assault: I hope you get better. I hope there is a time again that you can see the good in the world. That there is a day that you aren't afraid to go to a party with friends, and know that you are going to get home safe and sound. Until then, keep fighting, and know that there are always people there to help you.
If you or someone know has been the victim of sexual assault and wish to get help, go to https://rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline or call 800.656.HOPE (4673).
